Trying, I’m trying!

How to get everything done?  I swear, the list is endless.  Randy is no longer in ICU, and he was supposed to be moved to Zale Lipshy Rehab Center at UT Southwestern today, but now they say it will be a few more days.  I have lists and lists of things to do….I have been working like crazy…and sometimes I feel like a hamster running in a wheel…not going anywhere.  Why does my list seem to get longer instead of shorter?

Maybe things are finally really catching up to all of us….I always say, you have to be strong when there is no choice but to be strong, but after the event(s) is over, things change.  Now it is time to process, to comprehend, to understand what has happened and how it will change our lives.  I don’t think Randy has a real awareness yet of the changes he will have to make in his lifestyle, and these changes will be permanent.  Lung transplant patients are different than all other transplant patients because the lungs are the only organs (except skin, I guess) that are exposed directly to the air around them.  He will need to wear a mask when he goes out, at least for the first year.  He won’t be able to drive for a while, he’ll have clinic once a week for 3 months and 2 physical therapy appointments a week.  We have to sit down with a pharmacist to study and understand all of the medications and how and when they are to be taken properly.  The meds are very important.  Only 50 percent or so of lung transplant patients make it to the 5 year mark, and one of the main reasons is medication. One reason is not taking your medication properly, the other is side effects from the medication.  We will have to be very alert to any symptoms of any kind for the rest of his life.

So, I am feeling a little overwhelmed, a little anxious because I want to make sure everything that needs to get done before Randy comes home gets done.  I took a break on Friday night and Saturday, and made the mistake of going to a casino instead of getting massages or sleeping.  There are way too many people in a casino…I have no idea what I was exposed to, so I am avoiding Ran for a few days.  We have been warned so many times about not being around him if we don’t feel well, that we are probably too paranoid.  Better safe than sorry, right?  So.  aside from the long, long list of things I need to get done in the house, I need to figure out how to take care of myself, and how to take care of Randy once he is home.  I need to get myself on a schedule, but I cannot seem to get caught up.

Tonight, yoga.  I promise.