Our last day of diving went well. I very much enjoyed my days with Challenge Diving, they do a great job. On my dives were people from Colorado…and one man from New Jersey. He was a hoot. Italian, with a great Jersey accent, and a name like DeLucci! On our second dive, Greg DeLucci’s mask broke. It was bad enough that he had to ascend. On his safety stop, I glanced up to make sure he was doing all right, when I saw what looked like glass falling through the water to the reef. I went after it, and it turned out it was his prescription lens. As a diver with a prescription mask, I appreciate how devastating the loss of a lens would be during a trip! When I ascended and was in the dive boat, I told him I found the lens, and he could not have been any happier! He told me that just before I came up, he had said, “Tony Tony please come down, something’s lost and must be found!” I had never heard that before…but it turns out it is something he says to St Anthony (Patron Saint of the Lost) when he loses something. Of course, he calls him Tony. Funny guy!
My first Mother’s Day without Mom
It seems strange not to be planning a gift and what we will do for my mom on Mother’s Day. She passed away last June, and there are still times I think, “I want to tell mom that”, before realizing she’s not here anymore. Our relationship was never smooth, in fact it was pretty contentious, but she was a daily part of my life for my entire life, whether I wanted her to be or not.
Growing up, we never quite jelled. She wanted a daughter who wanted to sew and cook and shop and do girly things while I wanted to play baseball and hockey with the boys or play with my animals. Our viewpoints as I grew older were always different. Mom was also one of those “hysterical” moms, the kind that cries and just knows that if you ride a horse you will be killed (the first time I rode I did get thrown…). She was a “doom and gloom” type of mom: I would be sorry for this, I would be sorry for that, I was ruining my life, etc, etc. Our fights and arguments were sometimes epic. My mother spent most of my childhood and teen years worried about what I was doing, and voicing that worry constantly. If not for my dad and brother, Mike, who acted as buffers, I have no idea how bad the explosion would have been.
After I left home things were better because I was not constantly under her microscope. I lived quite far away in a time before personal computers and cell phones, so our contact was what we considered frequent then, a once or twice weekly phone call. After my father died, when I was only 25, we went right back to contentious. According to mom, the only person deeply affected by dad’s death was her. She just wallowed in her misery, and soon the only thing that made her happy was gambling and Las Vegas. Mom became a compulsive gambler, but we were slow to realize it.
She was a wonderful grandmother to my two children, and she moved to Dallas so she could be close to them. My father left her extremely well provided for, but she was gambling that money away quickly. She spent with no concern whatsoever. After we put her money in a trust she started getting cash from her credit cards. She would run them up as high as $30,000.00 a year. Yes, there were many contentious exchanges.
But we had our good times too. She was good to my children and they adored her; on extended family visits it was fun to play poker or yahtzee with her; she went on vacation with us and watched the kids. And hey, she was my mom. I partially supported her for many years, and there was very little left when she passed last summer. She was usually mad at me for something, especially the last few years. I was told that I would be “sick and sorry” when she was gone, and that she would “haunt” me for being so mean to her (you know, doing things like making sure she wore her oxygen and having home health in to check on her. Boy, did that piss her off!) She died of lung disease, and as less and less oxygen made it to her brain, she became extremely difficult. She weighed 85 pounds at 5’4″, and still would not believe how sick she was. “I’m fine!” she would shout at me (and my brother, and her grandchildren, and her doctor….). At 80 pounds she went into the hospital for 2 weeks, with my brother and I at her side, and she finally went to sleep and didn’t wake up.
I miss you, mom. No one has threatened me with dire consequences for almost a year now, and I have yet to be haunted. My husband became critically ill after mom died and we had to cancel her interment. As my husband recovers slowly, I try to plan a time to do it. I mean, I feel terrible that she is still here, and not with dad (her ashes). But a childhood friend said to me, “Tammy, don’t worry about it. As long as she is someplace where she can drive you crazy, she’s happy”. That’s about right!
For Mother’s Day, Give Back to Mother Earth!
For Mother’s Day, let’s all give Mother Earth a gift! There are so many deserving organizations out there, I don’t know where to start. I guess I will start with organizations I regularly support, which are animal conservation and protection, and urge you to give our Mother Earth a gift for Mother’s Day!
Marine Megafauna Foundation: MMF was started in 2009 to protect, research, and conserve megafauna species (Manta Rays, Whale Sharks, Sharks, and Turtles) along the coast of Mozambique. The reach of the organization has gone global: from attending CITES conferences advocating the legal conservation of these animals to researching them all over the world, MMF is a worldwide organization. You can volunteer, you can donate, or you can adopt or sponsor an animal. I am going to Ecuador in September with Dr. Andrea Marshall and a team of scientists to volunteer with the largest Manta Ray population on earth! I am so excited to go on this trip! I support this organization wholeheartedly. I volunteered in Tofo, Mozambique in 2012 and met several members of MMF, and these dedicated and inspiring people are crucial to conservation efforts everywhere!
Elephants World in Thailand: In 1900 there were 100,000 elephants in Thailand. Today, there are 2000 in the wild, and 3000 in captivity. The main reason for the drop in number is the reduction of living space and as a result of illegal logging. A smaller living area means less food for elephants. Wild elephants are still taken from the forest for trading, tusks, or breeding. Elephants World takes these sick, aged, disabled and abused elephants from the cruelty of the lives they have known and gives them a sanctuary where they can live out the rest of their lives in peace.
African Wildlife Foundation: The African Wildlife Foundation protects the endangered species on the African savannahs by Wild Life conservation, Land and Habitat Protection, Community Empowerment and Economic Development. These animals are precious natural resources, our own fellow creatures. Time is running out, and we must all take action to stop the extinction of many species. Read about their programs, and donate!
Wolves in Yellowstone: Yellowstone has served as a recovery place for the resurgence of the species. Wolf packs once roamed from the Arctic tundra to Mexico, but loss of habitat and extermination programs by humans led to their demise throughout most of the United States by 1900. Yosemite is raising 11 million dollars to protect North American species. The link above will take you to our National Parks site where you can choose to donate to any project you wish. Happy Mother’s Day to Mother Earth!
REEF: The mission: Reef Environmental Education Foundation is a grass-roots organization that seeks to conserve marine ecosystems by educating, enlisting and enabling divers and other marine enthusiasts to become active ocean stewards and citizen scientists. They have 3 main projects: Grouper Moon Project (studying and repopulating Groupers); Survey Project (when I dive I fill out surveys for this organization. It tracks important fish populations in order to determine the health of reefs all over the world), and the Lionfish Project. Sadly, the Lionfish Project seeks to rid our waters of the invasive Lionfish species, which does not belong in the Atlantic ocean. These lionfish threaten the ecosystem, so REEF puts together Lionfish Derby series all over the Atlantic ocean to rid the environment of these dangerous fish.
There are many, many deserving organizations out there, organizations making every effort to make Mother Earth a better place for all creatures. These are just a few, but they are absolutely worthy of support.
Make a difference for Mother’s Day by giving Mother Earth a precious gift!
Fab Friday Photos: Cozumel Dive day 3
Such beautiful dives, Santa Rosa Shallows (always a favorite) and Cedral Wall.
Cozumel Diving: Day 1
Ah, I’ve been diving with We-B-Divin’ in Cozumel longer than it has been We-B-Divin. It was originally owned by our friends Tony and Suzanne. Life tends to change, change, and then change some more, but one thing never changes: awesome service from great divemasters and the best lunch on the island!
Our first dives were Palancar Gardens, followed by Santa Rosa Shallows. Palancar Gardens is just that: a garden (a mountainous garden) of corals, sponges and sealife. Santa Rosa Shallows runs right along a wall…I love wall dives, the drop off is so dramatic. Anyway, here are the creatures I found at these dive sites!
Palancar Gardens:
Santa Rosa Shallows:
Check out We B Divin Cozumel and Villa Coronado!