On May 15, 1987, I gave birth to our daughter, Alexandra. As I said in my mother’s day post, she terrified me. The idea that I was responsible for this little human life was overwhelming. I went from being a nervous wreck (truthfully, I was a nervous wreck for quite a long while), to finally relaxing enough to enjoy her. She is 27 today, the same age I was when I gave birth to her. 27! We, the Boomers who have all hit 50 now, have begun to realize that our parents were correct: our children grow up fast, and time seems to fly. It is very difficult to believe that my darling baby girl (who stopped screaming at 2 months old, when she found her thumb) is 27 years old. She still looks like a child to me.
Mother and daughter had tough times, that is definite. We are not two peas in a pod, in fact, we are very, very different. AllyCat wants to know what the plan is….I always say there is no plan, we’ll play it by ear. THAT drives our AllyCat into “batshit crazy”. She always wants a plan. Always. Sometimes I have a plan, but it is always flexible. Oh, no, not for Alexandra. A plan is a plan, and you have to keep to it. Obviously, our temperaments are different, and we spent a great deal of time butting heads when she was in grade school, and again when she was in high school. This is the 10 year old who told me that my parenting was “inconsistent”. At 10! I have always been the type to say, oh well, that did not work, so we’ll try another way, but Ally wanted an absolute structure. I am really not good at structure. No, she was never an easy child.
Ally is a person who follows the rules, I am a person who questions rules and I usually only obey the ones I think make sense. This has made for some extremely interesting encounters out in the world. She was such a good little girl, so particular. She wouldn’t fingerpaint, she had to use Q Tips! I celebrated when she received her first demerit. Ha! Regardless, there has always been an unbreakable bond between us; actually, between the 4 of us as a family. Granted, we are a bit nuts. Ally has always believed we would be a better TV show than the Ozbournes. Ha! Yes, we are loud, there is cursing, and we are always engaged with each other in some way. We are a family who will talk about almost anything, and we have no compunction about asking questions, though sometimes the answers are not always what we want to hear.
The house was full of Ally’s friends and boyfriends as she grew up, I loved having the group here where I could at least know they were safe instead of out driving on a New Year’s Eve. Our little homebody didn’t want to ever leave home, she wanted to live here forever and go to college locally. We forced our little bird to fly, and she went to college in Florida, spent time in London for a study abroad semester, and lived in Boston for a year. Ally is a homing bird, and she is back in Dallas now, which is wonderful. She has had a stellar education, valuable experiences, and that is what we wanted for her. She and I took a trip to Thailand this year, and that was extremely enjoyable. My grownup daughter and I get along very well, and like being together. Fancy that!
So happy, happy birthday to you, Alexandra! Our little girl, our Pissy Sissy, our Biscuit, our AllyCat, our Xanadu…I am so glad I had you! (so is your dad, but he isn’t writing this blog, I am!). You have added meaning to my life that I never could have anticipated. I love you….big bunches!
IMPORTANT! Facebook has decided to charge pages like Travels with Tam a fee to share posts, even with people who have Liked our page. I have over 3,600 fans, but only 47 saw my Mother’s Day Post! This sucks, right? If you are on Google +, so am I, and if you’d like to get my posts you should subscribe via email, on the upper right of the page. I will be so so happy if you do!!!!
Ruth Curran
Wow, I believe I found a kindred spirit! Watching my adult child grow into an incredible individual — even with our differences in approach to how life should be structured (or not) — is one of the great joys of my mid-life! I am so glad to have found your writing and look forward to reading about your adventures. I am an addicted diver and traveler as well so much to share!
Tam Warner
an addicted diver! Yes, kindred spirits indeed! I will be looking at craniumcrunches for sure!
Ellen Dolgen
So beautiful…..nothing like being a mother…..my daughter is now having a daughter! Lucky me!
Tam Warner
wow, not quite ready for that yet!
Lois Alter Mark
Happy birthday to your daughter! It definitely keeps life interesting when you and your child come from such different perspectives! Love the photos and, yes, the years go way too fast.
Lois Alter Mark recently posted…san diego on fire
Tam Warner
LOL, yes, I like that life is interesting, for the most part!