Women’s friendships fascinate me. Some women have huge groups of friends, some have a posse, and others have just one or two close confidants. Our friendships with other women are important to us, whether they are deep or at surface level.
Friendships do not necessarily last forever. Some of my friendships have faded for many reasons…when our children are young we have women friends with children the same age…but when they grow up, those friendships can easily drift away. It’s a natural progression, it happens slowly over time until you just don’t communicate much anymore. I have friends I do not talk to often, but when we do talk, we pick up right where we left off.
Facebook and other Social Media have changed relationships immensely. I cannot believe the people I have reconnected with: high school friends, old work associates…and I’ve made new connections with other groups, bloggers, college consultants, scuba divers, feminists, etc etc. Do online friendships count?
I have never really been part of a women’s “group”. Maybe once or twice, but generally speaking, being around a lot of women tends to make me feel anxious. I read a blog a month or two ago about a woman who talked about being bullied by another woman while in Junior High, and how she sent her an online letter to tell her how badly it made her feel as a teen. That blog brought back memories that I had kept at bay for years…there was a group of girls who bullied and humiliated me back in Junior High. I have always been highly sensitive, and these actions absolutely devastated me at the time. I pretended it didn’t matter, and I doubt any of them ever saw me cry, but groups of women do make me anxious…and over cautious. These memories remind me of why my female friendships tend to be more one on one than group oriented. Even when in the middle of female group friendships, I feel a sense of not belonging, and even some level of panic or fear. Obviously something I need to start working on!
I came across an article today, 25 Famous Women on Female Friendship. Many of these women I would include in the Amazing Women column for a myriad of reasons: Jane Fonda, Nora Ephron, JK Rowling, and Gloria Steinem among them. I find the article very interesting, perhaps enlightening in some aspects. I know a lot of women, many of whom I would call friends, who live all over the globe and are all different ages and from different backgrounds. When I do see them, I very much enjoy our time together.
What about your female friendships? Are you a in a group of women who are close, or do you have mostly one on ones? Do you have a Sex in the City group of pals? What do you think about Social Media friendships, are they real or unimportant?
I’ve never been a “group” girl, instead, picking friends from different groups. I find that way more interesting. But still, once in a while I long to have a Sex in the City type clan to hang with. But not my fate, I guess!
That’s exactly how I feel.
I lean heavily on my girl friends. No posse here. Just a few well chosen friends that I can call on any time, day or night, for any reason, and know they will be there. And, I for them. I am blessed to have a hand full of friends like this, they grace my life every day. Online friendships are pretty wonderful too, when you find them. They offer a different kind of support. I treasure them all.
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I’m feeling better…I too have friends I can count on…but a group? No.
I think saying that someone is your dear friend is a level of trust and I rarely go there. Funny, until very recently I have always trusted my male friends more with my friendship. I guess we grow in unexpected ways don’t we?
I seem to get along with men better as a rule…I find that many women find my interests too adventurous (or foolhardy) for their tastes.
Growing up I was a loner and had very few friends. In my 20’s I had mom friends. In my 30’s friendships from earlier grew and I had three very close friends, one who passed away last year. After the loss of our friend, the other two and I are even closer if that is possible.
I think online friendships can grow like any other friendship. I have a few that have become very good IRL friends. For the first time in my life I feel like I am part of a group and for a change I like it.
Yes, I think there is a writer’s tribe.
Great post for sure. Friendships are very fleeting. Some heartbreaking and other heart healing. I was never into the group friendship either. I tried it once and it sucked. It was nothing like Sex and the City I can tell you that. Long story…lol.
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Maybe my tribe is writers….one way to tell an introvert? Do you speak or write your feelings? If you write them, you are usually introverted.
I think I must be an introvert. Growing up, I usually had just one or two close girl/women friends. As trite as it sounds, my husband actually is my best friend. I absolutely believe that we can have very good online friends some of whom actually become friends IRL.
I know I’m an introvert, but I’m a social one!