I have been on the go and traveling, traveling, traveling for a week, but now I am tucked away in Shelter Cove, California, with a view of the rugged coast from right to left. Glorious! I will settle down now to write some posts, but in the meantime, enjoy some fabulous California photos!
I lost my father when I was 25. He had an irreversible lung disease, Emphysema, which was diagnosed during my teen years. He has been gone a long time, but I think of him daily. I will always miss him, every single day of my life. He gave me so much, and always I wonder, what would dad think about that? What would Dad do? What we have left is his memory, and his memory is cherished by many.
My brother and I were adopted, and did Dad love it when someone would say, oh, your daughter looks just like you! He would proudly say, “She’s adopted”, like I was a prize he had won. Dad often told me that Mike and I were better than any biological kids he and my mom could ever have!
I loved tagging along with my daddy, and after one visit to the drug store dad asked me where I got the candy bar I was holding. I took it from the shop and didn’t tell him. He marched me back in there to apologize to the clerk for stealing the candy bar. I never again took anything from a store without paying.
My dad taught us how to fish, and we spent a lot of time out on Rocky Fork Lake in Ohio. I loved being out on the water. After we went back home dad would clean the fish, and throw the eyeballs at me so I would scream. He made great fish fry!
We vacationed every single summer at the same hotel in Florida. No matter how many times we went, dad was sick to his stomach the first few days of the trip. His mind loved to travel, but his tummy didn’t like to leave home! Ft Lauderdale, Florida meant Ireland’s Inn, drinky poos (a Manhattan for dad), and macaroons in the room. He loved the sun, and turned darker than anyone I have ever seen. Mike, Dad and I loved the ocean and swimming (Mom…not so much!)
You could set your watch to my dad’s comings and goings. He left for work at 730 a.m. on the dot, and returned home precisely at 530 pm. When I was a kid, I was always waiting for him. I would follow him upstairs where he would change to more casual attire, then I would follow him downstairs to watch him mix drinky-poos, a Manhattan for him, a Vodka Martini for mom, then we would sit and talk until 6 pm, at which time dinner was on the table.
My dad called his mother every single night at 7 pm. He would be on the phone for at least 20 minutes. His commentary was usually, “uh huh”, “really”, “well, what do you know about that?”, and “talk to you tomorrow”. My Grandma liked to talk about everyone’s illnesses and how she was outliving them all. He listened, every single weeknight. He skipped Saturdays, but we always visited her on Sundays.
He had the goofiest sense of humor, and wore the most outrageous clothes. His hat would be plaid, pants striped with argyle socks…and when he dressed up, he always wore a bow tie, even when it was out of style.
We ate out every week, at a nice restaurant called Anticoli’s. Dad always ordered me a Shirley Temple. He relished fine dining, and when in Florida, we had a list of restaurants we went to, each one more delicious than the next.
He answered every question I ever put to him. My curiosity is endless, and so I wanted to know every single thing about his childhood, his parents, his siblings, what it felt like to be raised on a farm, what it felt like to lose two brothers, how he got along with his parents, etc. I wanted to know all about mom’s life too.
He grew up on a farm, poor, during the depression. At 10 years old he won the National Championship for 4 H in the Steer competition. He said when he realized they were going to take his steer away and slaughter it, he cried. He made a speech on national radio about his accomplishment, and when asked what he was going to do with all of that money (.80 cents a pound for the steer), he replied he was saving it so he could go to college. At 10 years old!
When my brother and I were teens, he decided he needed to hang out with us in order to stay close to us, so he would listen to Richard Pryor comedy albums and watch Saturday Night Live with us. Richard Pryor cracked him up.
When I was 17, my dad’s best friend died suddenly of a heart attack. Dad and Frank hardly ever spoke on the phone, but the night before Frank’s death, they talked on the phone for quite a while. I don’t remember who called whom. My dad gave Beckie (Frank’s wife) and Holly (his daughter) 100% of his support and assistance. We stood together at the funeral home, and I turned to dad and said, “promise me you won’t die. I couldn’t stand it.” He shook his head and said he couldn’t promise that. He told me his insurance company calculated he would die within 10 years. That was some rough knowledge for a 17 year old girl who adored her daddy. I pestered his doctor constantly about how to make him well, until the doctor took my hand and said, “Tammy. He will never be an old man.” He was 59 when he left us, only 8 years after Frank passed.
I had my first back surgery at the age of 18. The pain was indescribable. He sat by my bed and held my hand….and when I would call him from the hospital because the nurses hadn’t brought my pain shot, he would call the nurses immediately. I received my shots pretty damned quick after that.
Mom and Dad’s friends, Bob and Dottie, set me up with their nephew, Randy Minton. We all had dinner at the Oakwood Club together in Dayton, Ohio. The next morning Dad said, “What did you think?” I said, I think I’m going to marry him. Dad said, “I think so too. I didn’t hate him.” (Not I thought he was a very nice young man, but “I didn’t Hate him”!)
After I married Randy, we drove to Dallas from Dayton the next day. I have never seen my father cry so hard. He literally broke down. I understand now, as a parent of young adults, why he completely lost it that day.
Christmas was dad’s thing. He acted like Scrooge, but he loved the holiday, our Christmas Eve party (I continue that tradition), and watching us open our zillion gifts the next morning. Every Christmas Eve he would leave the house in the 
morning to do his “Christmas Eve shopping”. One more gift for each of us.
I don’t want to think too much about the worsening of his health, the fear that walked with us all, or the desperation I felt each time I saw him getting worse. It is still so painful to remember. Today is Father’s Day, and I want to remember how fortunate I was to have him as a father. Dad was a man of deep feeling and compassion, he was the glue of his family, everyone’s favorite. Funny and loving, he also had a quick temper. I washed his new car with a scrub brush and dish soap once….I have to hand it to him though, he handled it pretty well, though you could tell he was fighting hard to keep it under control. Sorry about that, Dad.
Dad was very charitable, but always quietly. He made sure the children of his employees had Christmas gifts and Thanksgiving dinners, even when his employee drank their pay, or gambled it away. After his death, I learned even more about his generosity. I was so lucky to have him as my father.
I don’t know if a part of you lives on, dad, but if it does, thank you for everything. Mike and I are thinking of you, and always laughing at something you did or said. I know you believed that a person’s heaven consisted of the memories they left behind, and the positive things others would say or think about them after they were gone. If that is the case, you live in a wonderful heaven every moment. I would give almost anything to see and talk to you again. I hope you and mom and Frank and Beckie are playing pinochle somewhere.
I am part of some wonderful online groups for women over 50, and I can tell you they are all terrific. After 50, we all agree, there is time to be creative, to build a new business, to start a new life! We are finished raising our children, and freedom opens the landscape. These women are busy writing, cooking, creating, starting businesses….it is so inspiring! Let me take a case in point. A friend of mine from junior high school/high school has recently started a clothing line that combines fitness, fashion and function! She loves fashion, and loves working out, and these two passions came together to form Turn It On Designer Crossover Fitness Wear. It is a great concept! You can go to work, lunch, anywhere you want to, and then transition to your workout, whatever it is, without skipping a beat. Their idea:
Turn It On™ introduces the first truly fashionable line of designer fitness wear. Turn It On styles reflect the fashion runway yet allow you to crossover from fitness wear to ‘every wear’ effortlessly. Turn It On styles are versatile bringing fashion from the studio to the street. Whether it is lunch with the girls, a dinner date, or an after 5 office party, Turn It On fitness fashion makes looking and feeling fabulous as simple as adding accessories, heels, and jewelry to our styles…simply, elegantly, and fashionably. It’s about time luxury has entered the fitness wear market. I really like the clothes! I’ve already been purchasing, and plan to continue to do so. The fabric is amazing. Now, I am no fashionista, but I do work out, and most fitness clothing I find to be lacking. Too tight, too loose, doesn’t breathe….you know the drill. These clothes have a totally different feel. They use a 4 way stretch fabric, you can read about it here. I don’t know anything about fabrics, but this feels great! These clothes are definitely for the fashionable, on-the-go, fitness loving woman. Who knows, I might even turn into a fashionista. Maybe they’ll make a wetsuit line for my dive trips!
I want to congratulate my old friend, Juetta West, and wish her the very best for her new venture! We are still going strong, Juetta!
Randy and I returned from the Hill Country of Texas recently, and in a week we are off to explore the coast of California from Los Angeles to Shelter Cove. I’ve never been on Hwy 1, or seen the dramatic coastline of California. No time like the present! We are seeing friends and even some family along the way, and also spending some time at Lake Tahoe…and of course, I find myself worrying a little about Randy.
The Hill Country was fun, but for Randy, there is much to consider. As a double lung transplantee at 9 months post, there are issues that must be planned for. We need to be sure he has all of his medicine, and plenty of masks to keep out germs or pollution, or whatever. I wanted to go rafting on the Guadalupe, but ended up not doing it for fear of Randy falling in. Randy is immuno-suppressed so his body won’t reject his new lungs, but this opens up other dangers of infection and illness. He is not permitted in lakes or rivers, but he is allowed in the ocean. Now, what about Alpine lakes and rivers? I’ll have to research that. Besides, I’m the one who falls out of rafts and boats, not Randy. I’m sure he can stay inside the vehicle, so to speak.
Randy is 50 times more likely than you or I to get skin cancer. Yes, you heard me correctly. 50 TIMES MORE LIKELY. That is downright scary. And anyone who knows Randy knows how much he loves the sun. This is a guy who loves to lie in the sun, basking, without sunscreen. He cannot do that anymore. His skin is paper thin, any time he bumps into something or scrapes against something, he is injured. Band aids are necessary items, along with antibacterial wipes. A friend who is a diver and a quadriplegic familiar with infection risk recommended we carry the same soap and scrub doctors use, and that we used at the hospital. I think that is a great idea, and I plan to do that on our upcoming travels.
Exploring northern California puts us within range of the University of California San Francisco, a leading lung transplant center. It is good to know we’re not too far. I found a boat for a dinner cruise and to watch fireworks on July 3. I’ve also booked whale watching out of Moss Landing, near Monterey. A special tour of the Monterey Bay Aquarium is on the schedule as well. We meet friends in San Francisco who will travel with us to Shelter Cove, so we are also looking forward to that! You can bet I’ll be posting photos as I look for seals, sea lions, otters, whales, and all other animal life I can find. Maybe we’ll see a bear when we go to Lake Tahoe! If we do, I’ll be taking photos of it!
Ever been to a Presidential Library? Well, for a history buff like me you’d think the answer would be yes….but no, not until I visited the LBJ Presidential Library at the University of Texas Austin campus! The Library is celebrating the Sixties (which, you know, makes sense for LBJ), and wow! Talk about Boomer heaven! I was mesmerized!
As I have blogged previously, I am a 70s boomer, but seeing all of the sixties paraphernalia was a trip back in time. Magazine covers and album covers and TV show openings! Maybe I remember more than I thought I did….or maybe I’ve just seen some of these things on TV so much I think I remember them. However, I did see some things that absolutely came from my memory banks.
Such as:
–a commercial with a rabbit who tries to eat Trix! Ah, Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids!
–Bewitched’s opening!
–Lawrence Welk and his orchestra, with bubbles, doing the Pennsylvania Polka.
–Nixon on Laugh In, saying “Sock it to ME?”
–Barbie and Ken original dolls! I remember them because my older friend Holly had them, and I thought they were so cool!
–Muhammad Ali…floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee!
–Did you know Hugh Hefner started in the 60s with those stupid pajamas???
There were more serious moments in the library. The assassination of JFK, MLK, and RFK. The 1968 Democratic Convention debacle in Chicago. The Chicago 7 trial. Civil rights. I listened to the phone call between J Edgar Hoover and LBJ, when Hoover called to advise the President they had found the car of the missing civil rights workers, burned. It gave me chills.
We tend to think of LBJ as synonymous with the war in Vietnam, but throughout the Library are the reminders of Johnson’s Great Society, and the state of our union when he became President. It seems unbelievable now, but 25% of adult Americans did NOT have a high school diploma; 20% of Americans lived in poverty; and 33% of the elderly population lived in poverty. LBJ came into office with plans for his Great Society. The two main aims were the elimination of poverty (War on Poverty) and racial equality. Johnson passed four Civil Rights bills, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 forbade job discrimination and segregation of public accommodations. The Voting Rights Act of 1965 assured minority registration and voting. It suspended use of literacy or other voter-qualification tests that had sometimes served to keep African-Americans off voting lists and provided for federal court lawsuits to stop discriminatory poll taxes. The Immigration and Nationality Services Act of 1965 abolished the national-origin quotas in immigration law. The Civil Rights Act of 1968 banned housing discrimination and extended constitutional protections to Native Americans on reservations. Johnson passed Medicare, Medicaid and Welfare. The Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965 gave poor children funds for materials for education, and Head Start. Clean Air, labeling cigarettes as dangerous….Johnson’s legislative victories were beyond anything we could see today from our do-nothing Congress. For more information on the Great Society, continue reading on Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_society.
It is said that Johnson could twist the arm of any lawmaker. He wasn’t subtle. They called it “the Johnson treatment”. Did you know LBJ was 6’4″? He towered over people, and was extremely intimidating. He was a wheelin’ and dealin’ Texan, and didn’t take no for an answer.
What brought Johnson’s presidency to an ignoble end was the escalation and disaster of the war in Vietnam. The escalation of the war intensified the war protests, and Johnson announced that he would not seek, nor accept, the nomination of the Democratic Party for President in the election of 1968. Bobby Kennedy was running against him, and if he had not been killed in June 1968, Kennedy would have been the nominee, and most likely, President. Nixon, of course, won the 1968 election.
Seeing the library, hearing conversations that LBJ had with Jackie Kennedy, MLK, and J Edgar Hoover was a remarkable experience. I would love to go back, and spend the entire day, looking carefully at everything, and listening to every conversation available to visitors. Floors 5-9 are archives, filled with the documents of the times. Fascinating. I highly recommend a visit. The 60s were iconic times, turbulent times, tragic times, violent times, and a time of love and peace. I wish I could remember more of it, but seeing it in the library was astonishing. I’m very happy I made the trip.
For non-Texans, the diversity of Texas scenery may come as a surprise. From prairie to mountains to coast to piney woods to desert, Texas landscape changes are frequent. Right now Randy and I are in the heart of Texas, the Hill Country. The Hill Country encompasses Austin and San Antonio, Kerrville and Fredericksburg, San Marcos and New Braunfels. We have been driving the region this last week, enjoying the deer herds, the hills, the buttes, the college campuses, and the quaint village of Gruene.
Visit the Hill Country, y’all!
