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All Baby Boomers are not the Same!

May 27, 2014 By Tam Warner 20 Comments

It always puzzles me that I am part of the “Baby Boomer” generation. If it is defined as 1946-1964, I am a boomer, but I don’t recall many of the “baby boomer” memories that are always tossed around. I do not remember the assassination of JFK, I do not remember the American tour of the Beatles, most of the “Baby Boomer” TV shows, and I had no clue at the time that there was a “Woodstock”, or what it was. I think Jimi Hendrix was gone before I knew who he was, and the same is true of Janis Joplin. I have vague memories of Bobby Kennedy and the night he was killed, I remember Batman and Robin, and the color version of Bewitched. Oh, and I Dream of Jeannie and the Monkees!

There are actually two baby boomer generations: the first came of age in the sixties, and were the “hippies” that we, who came of age in the 70s, wished we could have been. We 70s boomers learned to dance disco, listened to John Denver, Linda Ronstadt and the Eagles. Elvis wasn’t the “king”, he was an old, fat guy who could never remember the lyrics to his own songs. (I’m sorry, Elvis just wasn’t that great to us). John Travolta had Saturday Night Fever.

The 60’s boomers had:

Woodstock…(all I know is people peed in fields, how gross)

The Beatles. When they came to America, I was still toddling.

Mystery Date Board Game? No memory of this for me!

We shared the anti-war movement, POW bracelets, and Tricky dick Nixon.

The 1970s Boomers had:

We had Unhealthy Elvis (who died in 1976)

John Denver's Rocky Mountain High — John Denver’s Rocky Mountain High

Mikhail Barishnokov defected from the USSR to the US

Mark Spitz: 7 Gold Medals during One of the Games

I’ve watched “The Big Chill” and I LOVE the movie, but it doesn’t “ring true” for me. I missed taking part of the 1960’s many social movements and protests, the love ins and the sit ins and Woodstock. To me, being against the “Establishment” was only words. I read A LOT of boomer blogs, but a lot of them are not actually me….I’m the second boom, remembering events in the late sixties and growing up as a preteen and teen in the 1970s.

Do you consider only the 1960’s teens as the baby boom generation? They were the revolutionaries for the most part, the hippies, the anti-war movement, the protesters. We 70s kids thought they were cool with their love beads and long hair, but by the time we became old enough to take part, it was really just pretense. What do you think? Do you consider the iconic events of the 60s as the baby boom generation? Where does that leave the 70s boomers? I guess we might just be the tail end?

Food for the Soul in Raleigh, NC!

May 21, 2014 By Tam Warner Leave a Comment

GUEST BLOG BY SUZANNE STAVERT OF Adventures of Empty Nesters!

Mixing business with adventure is so gratifying, not to mention, super fun! In addition to writing Adventures of Empty Nesters, I represent a health company called Touchstone Essentials. I was traveling to Raleigh, North Carolina for our Second Annual Conference and ironically, my husband had business in Raleigh as well! This almost never happens, so we had a 2 for 1 special business trip with a side of adventure!

During the day, I spent my time learning valuable information about health and wellness at the conference, and Craig focused on his work obligations. However, we still have to eat don’t we? Raleigh is an awesome “foodie” town and a great place to find food for the soul. The kind of food you don’t easily forget and want to come back to again and again. It is a relatively small, urban city, so we were able to walk to most of the restaurants we wanted to go to from our hotel in the downtown area. At the suggestion of our dear “Almost Empty Nester” friends who live in Raleigh, we were given a fairly lengthy list with many types of food and libations to choose from. It was definitely a difficult decision!

What I admired most about the restaurants we experienced in Raleigh is how genuine and unprententious they were, yet the flavors were sophisticated and out of this world. Ashley Christensen is a red hot chef in Raleigh and has just been awarded the 2014 James Beard Award for Best Chef: Southeast. On a very wet and rainy evening we only walked just one block to Poole’s Downtown Diner. The vibe is super friendly and since they don’t take reservations, it is usually always packed with hungry customers. I don’t mind the wait, because you just plan for the time, talk with friends and enjoy some ridiculously creative cocktails as you wait for your table.

Creatively written on hanging chalkboards, the menu has a Southern flair with a modern edge. Since we live in Southern California, we never eat anything remotely Southern, so we were anxious to participate!

It was so tough to choose that we opted to share two sides and each have an entrée. The “highest” of the highlights for me was the Mac and Cheese side dish (Macaroni Au Gratin). This was honestly the best I have ever tasted. Craig and I consider eating mac and cheese as a rather decadent treat. We like to try it at restaurants that offer it as their signature dish. We have tasted several versions of truffle mac and cheese, lobster mac and cheese and now Poole’s. Poole’s is hands down the very best we have ever tasted. The chef must combine three or four types of cheese and it comes with a crispy cheddar crust. OMG! It is worth every calorie and gram of fat.

Craig enjoyed his chicken fried pork shoulder sausage with grits…. He was so “un” Southern when he ordered his meal he said: “I would like to have the chicken sausage.” The server said: “There is no chicken in the dish, it is CHICKEN FRIED”. Oh is that what that means!

Note: Poole’s was fairly dark and taking photos with a flash is a no-no. So these are not my best work, but you get the idea.

Joule

Our number two highlight in Raleigh was Sunday brunch at Joule, which is also owned by Ashley Christensen. She owns Beasley’s Chicken & Honey, Chuck’s, Fox Liquor Bar, Joule Coffee and has two more restaurants coming soon. At Joule, they make aromatic hand crafted cups of coffee and hand made croissants. Making croissants by hand is extremely labor intensive and they were light and delicious with a slightly sweet almond flavor. We shared a scrumptious almond croissant and homemade yogurt with granola and berries as our Sunday morning breakfast.

We were in Raleigh a very short time, but these two restaurants are a “Do Not Miss” when visiting Raleigh.

Should I really be eating all of this food? YES!

In actuality, I spend most every week eating healthy food and following good diet practices. But when I am out discovering new restaurants and their creative cuisine, rules go out the window. It’s a culinary adventure for goodness sake! I will arrive home from the trip, get back on the proverbial horse, eat well and exercise. Seriously, do you want me to write about eating roasted broccoli, going to the gym and how many miles I walk the dog? Or course not, I save the just interesting stories to share with you!

Life is about balance – We should design and live an extraordinary life. Don’t you think?

Have you tried a new and fabulous restaurant lately? We would love to hear about it!

Fabulous Photo Friday: Bath, England

May 16, 2014 By Tam Warner 16 Comments

I LOVE England. LOVE LOVE LOVE. I am a true Anglophile, especially when it comes to British history. I’ve been to England several times, and I certainly plan to go back again and again! We spent two weeks roaming the English countryside while my daughter was doing her study abroad in London. My son and I were alone in Bath together and hired a British historian so I could actually talk to someone about what we were seeing! As you can see, the weather was a bit foreboding, but it added to the atmosphere of the place. And yes, I know it is Jane Austen’s hometown, but I was more interested in the Roman history. Ah, I want to go back. Enjoy!

uk 07 bath jane austen — Jane Austen’s street

Tomb of the Nash Family (my mother was a Nash) — Stone Tomb

uk 07 bath bath — One of the Roman baths

My son Wes on Pultenoy Bridge, the River Avon

May 15, 1987: Throwback Thursday

May 15, 2014 By Tam Warner 6 Comments

On May 15, 1987, I gave birth to our daughter, Alexandra. As I said in my mother’s day post, she terrified me. The idea that I was responsible for this little human life was overwhelming. I went from being a nervous wreck (truthfully, I was a nervous wreck for quite a long while), to finally relaxing enough to enjoy her. She is 27 today, the same age I was when I gave birth to her. 27! We, the Boomers who have all hit 50 now, have begun to realize that our parents were correct: our children grow up fast, and time seems to fly. It is very difficult to believe that my darling baby girl (who stopped screaming at 2 months old, when she found her thumb) is 27 years old. She still looks like a child to me.

Mother and daughter had tough times, that is definite. We are not two peas in a pod, in fact, we are very, very different. AllyCat wants to know what the plan is….I always say there is no plan, we’ll play it by ear. THAT drives our AllyCat into “batshit crazy”. She always wants a plan. Always. Sometimes I have a plan, but it is always flexible. Oh, no, not for Alexandra. A plan is a plan, and you have to keep to it. Obviously, our temperaments are different, and we spent a great deal of time butting heads when she was in grade school, and again when she was in high school. This is the 10 year old who told me that my parenting was “inconsistent”. At 10! I have always been the type to say, oh well, that did not work, so we’ll try another way, but Ally wanted an absolute structure. I am really not good at structure. No, she was never an easy child.

Ally is a person who follows the rules, I am a person who questions rules and I usually only obey the ones I think make sense. This has made for some extremely interesting encounters out in the world. She was such a good little girl, so particular. She wouldn’t fingerpaint, she had to use Q Tips! I celebrated when she received her first demerit. Ha! Regardless, there has always been an unbreakable bond between us; actually, between the 4 of us as a family. Granted, we are a bit nuts. Ally has always believed we would be a better TV show than the Ozbournes. Ha! Yes, we are loud, there is cursing, and we are always engaged with each other in some way. We are a family who will talk about almost anything, and we have no compunction about asking questions, though sometimes the answers are not always what we want to hear.

The house was full of Ally’s friends and boyfriends as she grew up, I loved having the group here where I could at least know they were safe instead of out driving on a New Year’s Eve. Our little homebody didn’t want to ever leave home, she wanted to live here forever and go to college locally. We forced our little bird to fly, and she went to college in Florida, spent time in London for a study abroad semester, and lived in Boston for a year. Ally is a homing bird, and she is back in Dallas now, which is wonderful. She has had a stellar education, valuable experiences, and that is what we wanted for her. She and I took a trip to Thailand this year, and that was extremely enjoyable. My grownup daughter and I get along very well, and like being together. Fancy that!

So happy, happy birthday to you, Alexandra! Our little girl, our Pissy Sissy, our Biscuit, our AllyCat, our Xanadu…I am so glad I had you! (so is your dad, but he isn’t writing this blog, I am!). You have added meaning to my life that I never could have anticipated. I love you….big bunches!

IMPORTANT! Facebook has decided to charge pages like Travels with Tam a fee to share posts, even with people who have Liked our page. I have over 3,600 fans, but only 47 saw my Mother’s Day Post! This sucks, right? If you are on Google +, so am I, and if you’d like to get my posts you should subscribe via email, on the upper right of the page. I will be so so happy if you do!!!!

Being a Mother

May 11, 2014 By Tam Warner 2 Comments

Being a mother was not something I dreamed about while growing up. In fact, I didn’t even like to babysit, and when I had an infant to babysit, I called my best friend, Shannon, to change “it” if it woke up. I was much more interested in animals than in children. People said I would make a terrible mother because I was so mercurial and forgetful and in the clouds (ADHD, don’t you know).

With my first, Alexandra, I was so thrilled to be pregnant I didn’t even mind being sick every single day, and getting fat, fat, fat. It wasn’t until I was about 8 months pregnant that reality set in: we were having a baby. OH. MY.GOD. I had never even changed a diaper on my own! And I was going to be responsible for a human life? Oh, shit, what have I done?? After a nightmarish 21 hour labor ordeal, I had a pink, beautiful, screaming baby. She terrified me.

I was much more relaxed with my second baby, a huge, happy baby boy, Wessie boo. He wanted to eat constantly, and use me as a pacifier, but he was a happy, easy going baby. Mama’s boy, he never wanted to leave my side, he would burrow into me like a furry little animal. My brown eyed boy, always up to mischief, and always so happy about it!

ally and mom reader 1st grade — In character with an embarrassed daughter!

I wanted to be a great mother. I was an involved mom, reading to the kids and dressing in character at school (my daughter was humiliated and wondered why I couldn’t be like the other mothers). I played with them, taught them to swim, snorkel and scuba dive, read to them, put snakes they found into buckets to look at, and I tried to set a good example. I went back to college and achieved both a BA and an MS. I also took in every stray in the neighborhood (they all came to my door) and tried to heal birds and squirrels and any other animal they brought me. I taught them my reverence for animals and for nature, especially the ocean. We had bunnies and dogs and cats and lizards and tortoises. My house was the house where all the kids wanted to hang out, so the house was always full and noisy. I loved it.

We have always loved animals! — Always a full house.

I love my children, and I have loved being their mother. I still do. I was not a perfect parent (good luck with that), and my daughter actually told me when she was 10 or so that I was not consistent enough. My son was a charmer who mostly got his way (I always knew what he was up to, but he was just so sweet and adorable!). I have spent the last 28 years being a mother, and I have learned that once you become a parent, there is no turning back. It never ends…the love, the worry, the fear, the concern, and the joy. The attachment is always there, an invisible cord holding us together, forever.

Talent show! — I coached them in “The Lion King” for a talent show. They won!

The sad thing about being a mom is that your children don’t remember all that you did for them, or with them. It forms them, influences them, creates their character, but they don’t remember the days of play and swimming and helping with homework, the time and the love and the sacrifices and the lessons taught. Parenthood is the hardest job, there is no doubt about that. They remember the things you did wrong, but rarely remember the things you did right. I remember, though. I have jumped through hoops of fire for my kids, done everything in my power to give them the help they needed, and I can’t say I left anything undone. I have always been there for them, supporting them if they needed it, cheering them on if they didn’t. Maybe I didn’t discipline them enough…but it was just so hard to see them cry. It hurt me to the core of my being.

Wesley's college graduation celebration — Wesley’s college graduation celebration

I do not regret being a parent, I have been fulfilled by it, not only with my own children, but my children by other mothers. I hope they know that every moment of their lives I have loved them, and done only what I thought was in their best interests. They are off and living their own lives now, but they are always in my heart. Always.

Fab Photos Friday: An Awesome 4th Dive Day in Cozumel!

May 9, 2014 By Tam Warner 5 Comments

Our last day of diving went well. I very much enjoyed my days with Challenge Diving, they do a great job. On my dives were people from Colorado…and one man from New Jersey. He was a hoot. Italian, with a great Jersey accent, and a name like DeLucci! On our second dive, Greg DeLucci’s mask broke. It was bad enough that he had to ascend. On his safety stop, I glanced up to make sure he was doing all right, when I saw what looked like glass falling through the water to the reef. I went after it, and it turned out it was his prescription lens. As a diver with a prescription mask, I appreciate how devastating the loss of a lens would be during a trip! When I ascended and was in the dive boat, I told him I found the lens, and he could not have been any happier! He told me that just before I came up, he had said, “Tony Tony please come down, something’s lost and must be found!” I had never heard that before…but it turns out it is something he says to St Anthony (Patron Saint of the Lost) when he loses something. Of course, he calls him Tony. Funny guy!