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Elf on a Shelf?

December 19, 2013 By Tam Warner Leave a Comment

I am amazed with all of this “Elf on a Shelf” stuff. I’ve had an elf in this house for 25 years! Our elf, though, is Jule Nissan, a twist on a Scandinavian legend. OUR elf is a year round little guy, who is quite the grumpy elf. Jule Nissan does not like Christmas, does not like making toys, does not like other elves, and does not like people. 25 years ago, Jule took a liking to our house and our animals and jumped off Santa’s sleigh to live in our attic. And so the story begins.

Jule Nissan loves animals, but he is not crazy about humans, especially children. He is a trickster, loving to hide things from the humans in the house. Whenever something in the house is lost or cannot be found right away, it is Jule Nissan who hid it or moved it. Such mischief! Jule Nissan makes VERY rare appearances, always where you would least expect to find him (and always where children cannot reach him). His appearance always is followed by a quick disappearance. When my children would come to find me to tell me they saw him…he would be gone! I would see him once in a while as well, but he would disappear before the kids saw him.

Our elf isn’t all naughtiness. He is very, very good with animals, and can calm them down when they are upset or sick. Jule Nissan also takes them treats. He is so much happier in our attic than at the North Pole. Unlike other elves, he is not big on sugar or cookies. Jule Nissan’s favorite thing to eat is Oatmeal. Now, on Christmas Eve, when one leaves cookies and milk for Santa, and carrots for the Reindeer, one can never forget the importance of leaving out oatmeal for Jule Nissan. If not…Jule will be very upset, and open all the gifts, and hide all of Santa’s presents! Wouldn’t that be awful?? So a bowl of oatmeal is left along with the other yummies, just for Jule! Yes, we continue the practice even today. We have friends whose grandchildren spend every Christmas Eve here…and they now place the oatmeal and the other treats.

The next morning...the oatmeal is all gone! — The next morning…the oatmeal is all gone!

My children LOVED telling everyone about our elf. They thought it was really neat to have one since none of their friends did. Their friends had never heard of such a thing, an elf loose in the attic! So what is my point? Well, I have always sought to make holidays, ESPECIALLY Christmas, a magical time of the year. I decorate …. actually I basically REdecorate the house. I love magic and mystery and anticipation…Christmas is the time of year when anything can happen. The elf was always so special, so fun to talk about all year. Elves have been a theme in my life forever. Our house was always decorated with elves for Christmas. See photo of some of my childhood elves? I still have them, obviously.

So…did I miss out on a great opportunity? It never occurred to me that anyone else would want an elf. Of course, our elf does not report to Santa. Who would have thought that a little tattle tale elf would be so popular? It is a cute idea, but I wonder at the ubiquity of it. Are all of them the same? I haven’t seen the movie…I’ll have to watch it. Maybe I should have written a Christmas book! My story would probably be scary though! Food for thought.

Anyone else have original Christmas customs?

On the Receiving End

December 16, 2013 By Tam Warner 12 Comments

This post is part of a bloghop from the Women of Midlife, Midlife Boulevard. Topic? The best gift you ever gave or received!

Randy with his children, Wes and Alexandra

I thought about writing a very profound post about my husband’s miraculous double lung transplant in September of this year…but instead, I think I will just say it like it is, without the bells and whistles. After 2 weeks on the transplant list, and 2 more weeks on life support, I can easily tell you the best gift I ever received: the day my husband received lungs. Without that gift, he would not be here.

The gift is, and was, multifaceted. Number one, Randy is alive and breathing. The gift given by the donor and the donor’s family benefited untold numbers of people. It benefited me, by giving my husband a second chance at life, and giving US a second chance to be together. Number two, it benefited several other organ recipients who were receiving the heart and liver in other operating rooms, and their loved ones, with whom we shared that waiting room. Number 3, it benefited everyone who cares about our family, and after the prayers and love and assistance and positive energy that came our way, apparently there are a lot of people who care, which is a gift in itself! But, number 4 is the most cherished aspect of the gift.

The transplant returned their father to my children, Wes, 23, and Alexandra, 26. The hardest part of the entire surrealistic event was witnessing the agony of my children. To see their suffering was the worst experience of my life, and between you and me, I’ve had a few bad moments. They truly believed he was going to die, and they would never be able to talk to him again. The kids have inherited Randy’s less than optimistic view of life (that is putting it very nicely) while I tend to view life through a lens of optimism. I have friends who would tell you that I am “idealistic”, meaning unrealistic and on another planet, but I agree with George Carlin when he says that behind every cynic is a disappointed idealist. I confess that I do have a very stubborn idealism, but I also say I have a fairly well tuned intuition working for me. It never really seemed possible, or realistic, that Randy would actually die. I had other friends who felt that way, too. Friends who texted me the night before Randy would get his lungs and said, “I just don’t believe he will die. It isn’t his time.” The spiritual implications of that are best explored in a future post, but that was exactly how I phrased it as well, “It isn’t his time.” Wes and Ally did not have that hope.

It has always been a conundrum for me, is it better to be prepared for loss, or to lose someone quickly? There are arguments to both sides, and we’ve heard them all, so I won’t elaborate on them here. Randy’s decline happened so rapidly that no one was prepared or expecting such a drastic turn of events. He was not even on oxygen! Most people on the transplant list are somewhat debilitated, on oxygen, not living an active life. 3 weeks before Randy was on life support he was snorkeling and walking in Mexico for exercise, daily! Yes, we knew there was a breathing problem, and it had been diagnosed as sarcoidosis, but one of the top sarcoid doctors in the country said he didn’t think it was sarcoid. He recommended a biopsy. We explained to our young adult children that we needed more testing. 4 days before that biopsy was scheduled, Randy crashed, and the lung function he lost in just a couple of days was irretrievable. In another couple of weeks, another crash put him on life support for almost twelve days. Everything happened so fast, like a row of dominoes going down. It was an episode of the Twilight Zone.

Wes and Ally were devastated. I don’t know any other way to put it. While Randy was on life support, Ally would come to the hospital and work from the waiting room, while Wes would dash in, and dash out, unable to stay because he knew there was nothing he could do. When I was able to let them know there was a 90% chance suitable lungs had been “found”, their hope was rekindled. Even though they are (mostly) grown up, they are still my babies, and seeing the fear and the horror and the desperation in their faces was truly one of the worst moments of my life. I cared more about their reactions and emotions than I did for my own, because I lost my dad when I was 25. It is terrible to lose a parent at any time, but to lose them young is beyond sadness. The grandchildren my dad never saw, the lack of time, the knowledge that there could have been so much more to his life, to our lives. It is a sadness that anyone who has lost a parent before their time knows well.

Randy is doing well, remarkably well for a guy who was about as close to the end as one can get. (And it was not Sarcoid, it was IPF, Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, one of the worst lung diseases you could ever be diagnosed with). Seeing the joy on the faces of my children when their Dad came out of surgery was the best gift I have ever received. Normally I prefer to be the giver…but being on the receiving end of a gift that kept my family together has truly been the gift of a lifetime.

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Great Exumas…here I come!

December 14, 2013 By Tam Warner 4 Comments

I need a break. I need to see some fish, feel the salt water, float weightlessly, and dive. So I booked a trip to George Town in the Great Exumas, the tiny islands of the Bahama chain. I also want to see Pig Beach! Ever heard of it? Seriously, Pig Beach is a beach full of, well, wild pigs, who like to swim out to boats and get fed. Ok. I’m always up for a new experience. I am game.

My husband and I are members of a “club” called 3rd Home. The members give away weeks at their second home (ours is in Cozumel, Mexico), and other members can book the homes for a certain number of keys, depending on the monetary worth of the home. I saw a Villa available at the Grand Isle Resort and Spa in the Exumas and decided to just go. Why not? My cousin is also going to go…she just decided today that she really couldn’t think of a reason why she shouldn’t go. She’s on break from the college she teaches at, so why not? So I’ll have a dive buddy, and someone to go feed pigs with. I am very excited to go and try a new place and a new dive destination.

I plan to dive with Dive Exuma, in George Town. The Exumas are known for excellent visibility, shallow dives with plenty of fish action, blue holes, and sharks. There are also wrecks, reefs, and walls. They all sound good to me!

The resort appears stunning, and the water is reputed to be crystal blue because of the shallowness. I would love to hear from anyone who has been to the Exumas, Bahamas! Any advice on must-see places, must-go restaurants? I will make a full report when I return, the plan is to go in early January. After the ice storms in Dallas, which may not be over, the Exumas may be just what the doctor ordered. You can bet I will be blogging from the Exumas.

The waters of Exuma by Kip F Evans / Mission Blue

Randy, my husband, had a shocking double lung transplant in September (that is another story, Lung Transplant: An Unexpected Journey), but he is now driving and getting around on his own. My daughter is nearby, and we have friends who will check up on him and feed him occasionally. It is important, to both of us, that we continue to do the things important to us in this, our midlife. We plan to travel around the USA starting in April…but these dive trips are very important to me. I have always known that life is short, but our recent experience certainly adds an exclamation to that point. I have to go and do what is important to me while I am healthy enough to do it. Traveling, exploring, adventuring, in all forms (physical, emotional, intellectually), are an integral part of me. Randy and I plan to head out west, driving and hitting all of the must see (and off the beaten path) places we can between here and Napa Valley. Later, we plan to spend time in Lake Tahoe, a place I fell in love with last summer. We are going to head out and see what there is to see. I’m also diving Thailand/Myanmar in March, and Ecuador in September with the Marine Megafauna Foundation. 2014 is going to be a great year! I am planning to take you along.

It’s that time of year….and other random thoughts

December 11, 2013 By Tam Warner 4 Comments

My daughter's work! so talented! — My daughter’s work! so talented!

…when the world falls in love, fa la la la la la la la la. It is also the time of year to buy gifts, wrap gifts, decorate trees, and numerous other tasks. After the 25th it is time to UNdecorate. I love Christmas and Hanukkah, and cannot seem to master the idea of a minimalist Christmas. To me, More is More at Christmas time. Every ornament is important because each one is a memory…of a person, a place, an event. How could I possibly not put everything on display?? This year I am running late, though.

Our yearly “Christmukkah Eve” gathering will be a smaller version of itself…Randy is too vulnerable from his lung transplant to be exposed to large numbers of people. But as long as we are with friends and family, everything will be wonderful. With everything going on this year, Mom’s passing, Randy’s shocking illness and recovery…I am quite behind on Christmas. My body is fighting me every step of the way. My back flipped out last week, and I am feeling the consequences of a bit (!!!!) of a weight gain through the months of sitting in a hospital…my husband had a sudden illness and Double Lung Transplant…so UT Southwestern was my home for a while. Prior to that I sat at Baylor Plano with my mom. The truth is though, I have no excuse. I should have worked out and kept up good eating habits instead of eating the creamy soups and bread that everyone kept bringing me. So I have put on a lot of weight. Shit. Pardon the french. (Why do we call curse words French? Anyone know? Actually, French is one of the most beautiful languages on earth…cursing sounds wonderful in French.)

I need to get this weight off. And it is holiday time, which means food…fattening food, sweet food…almost irresistible food. Why can’t I just fast for a couple of weeks? Of course I could. So why don’t I? Where is my willpower? I’m headed on a dive trip in less than a month, and I want to feel like I am walking instead of waddling. Ugh. Can’t wait to put on a bathing suit and wetsuit. Will they even fit? When you can’t get into your fat clothes, you know you are in BIG trouble. Bad pun, I know. I don’t even want to go to yoga class because I feel so uncomfortable in my skin. And yes, I know I should be confident and gentle with myself as I get back to normal life (when is life ever normal?), but I tend to be on the self-critical side.

Of course, I should be wrapping, addressing envelopes, making ribbons, walking on the treadmill and doing yoga. I am just so tired and distracted all the time. And I even hired an “assistant” to help me get all of this done. I haven’t finished shopping yet, and that is completely unlike me. Christmas is the one time of the year when I am actually organized (well, for me). I did just buy James Taylor’s Christmas album. That probably doesn’t count as being productive though.

It's that time of year... — It’s that time of year…

I ordered a new tree from Frontgate, a gorgeous, big, prelit Noble Fir, and I still don’t have it, which means I still have another tree to decorate! Talk about late. Come to think of it, they have not even called me. Which means I should call them. I can’t find my ruler to measure the envelopes for my Christmas cards…well, “season” cards…meaning I cannot print the envelopes yet. And the 5p.m. alarm on the phone just went off, meaning Randy has to take his medications, and I hear him calling, because I feel pretty sure he has no idea where he left them.

Maybe I just need a good night’s sleep. What a random post! After some sleep, I’m sure I will make sense again. Hopefully. Okay, have to go find pills.

Clear Lungs and No Sign of Rejection!

December 9, 2013 By Tam Warner Leave a Comment

Today was a long one, but as you can tell from the title of this post, it had a great outcome! Today Randy had “clinic” (blood test, xray, spirometry, doctor’s appointment), followed by a bronchoscopy, a test that allows the doctor to look inside Randy’s lungs’ airways, called the bronchi. The doctor inserts a thin, flexible tube called a bronchoscope and the tube is passed down your throat into your airways. The doctor took pictures, and sent away a couple of tissue samples, but came out all smiles, and informed me that the lungs were clear, with no sign of rejection. Holy Shiza, Batman! That is some of the best news an organ transplant patient can hear.

It has been 3 months since Randy’s double lung transplant. 3 months. It is difficult to believe he has come this far in such a short period of time….as I sit here with our Christmas tree softly glowing, and a fire in the grate, it seems like a nightmare long ago, but it was a harsh reality. The hospital waiting room, the doctors, the staff, the families…it seemed as though it was an alternate universe, one we had somehow strayed into and could not get out of. Yet, here we are. It was interesting today to see one of the doctors who hadn’t seen Randy since surgery, and his absolute amazement at not only Randy’s progress, but that he is alive at all. We discussed the fact that although his friends and family are so thankful and grateful every time we look at him, he doesn’t have any memory of being so sick, and it all happened so fast, he was not even on oxygen when he went into the hospital. Randy did not experience much debilitation prior to his two “crashes”, so his experience and attitude is somewhat aggravated at how his life has changed, rather than daily wonder that he is still alive. It is a strange dichotomy…and sometimes difficult to bridge. He does ask questions, and I tell him about what happened in as detailed a fashion as I can, but the filter in which we see the past 4 or 5 months is quite different.

I think daily of the donor’s family, and wait for the day I can write them a letter and tell them how much their loss has changed our lives. A part of their loved one lives on…not only in Randy, but in others whose lives were saved by this donor. Without this donor, Randy would not be here. I cannot imagine a greater gift given by anyone. I ask you, if you are not already an organ donor, please reconsider that decision. To give life is the ultimate gift. So, ask yourself, do you have the heart to be an organ donor? I hope so, I hope we can all find it within ourselves to be so generous.

Randy is doing very, very well. As well as anyone ever hoped. I know his recovery will continue. His is a happy story, unlike so many others who die on the waiting list, or who are not approved for the waiting list. There is so much illness, so much need in the world. Cystic Fibrosis and Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis are terrible diseases. Any donation or help given to assist in finding a cure, or even a treatment that works, would be appreciated by many. Here are a couple of ideas for you: Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation, Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, and, ironically enough, our dear friends, Tom and Nancy Murphy, are involved with Shamrockin’, a fundraiser for Cystic Fibrosis which takes place once a year in Alpharetta, GA, in March of course, near St Patrick’s Day. If you cannot make the event, you can still donate goods for auction! There are a million ways to make a difference. Choose a cause and do what you can.

Christmas Gift Suggestions for the Earth Lover!

December 4, 2013 By Tam Warner 6 Comments

Christmas gifts can be tough! How to decide what to buy your loved ones? Well, if you have an animal lover in your life, these gifts will not only please the recipient of the gift, but give a priceless gift to our fellow creatures. What do you think?

How about adopting something really BIG??? Like a Whale Shark or a Manta Ray? The person it is gifted to can name it as well, and sightings of the animal will be reported to them! check out http://www.marinemegafauna.org/support-us/adopt-a-giant/! The team at Marine Megafauna knows how to give a BIG gift opportunity! Here is my BIG girl! Daenerys Targaryen, the Stormborn, Princess of Dragonstone, Queen of the Andals and First Men, Queen of the 7 Kingdoms, the Unburnt, and Mother of Dragons!

I was given the wonderful gift of naming this beautiful Manta in the Revillagigadoes Islands. The Manta had not been seen since 2003 until I photographed it in 2012 and turned it in to the Pacific Manta Research Group. I decided on JEDI with the help of Karey Kumli at the Pacific Manta Research Group! I had two names, and Karey said “I like Jedi, it has a positive and powerful message. Keepers of Peace & Justice in the galaxy.” Isn’t that what we are trying for? Peace and Justice for the creatures that populate the earth?

This has been a very rough year for Manatees, help is urgently needed! They are such sweet, friendly creatures. Remember them this holiday season! Donate here: https://secure3.4agoodcause.com/save-the-manatee-club/gift.aspx?id=2

Join the fight for a healthy ocean and ecosystem! Join the Ocean Conservancy! http://www.oceanconservancy.org/the-ocean-matters/

Let’s not forget our other friends: African animals http://www.africanwildlifeconservationfund.org/

And Save the Rhino! They are in such desperate shape. http://www.savetherhino.org/

and don’t forget Pelagic Life, http://www.pelagiclife.org. From studying animals to assisting sharks who have been “hooked”, this group is always active in the cause of saving our Pelagic Life. Nurture YOUR soul in the open ocean!

Give a gift of life and conservation!

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