http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKVYcPJbyAM Will Farrell (combination of Tam and Wes) and Mark Wahlberg (Randy) in “The Other Guys”.
Watch the clip. Yep. Watch it again. It is one week today since Randy came home from the hospital, after 3 months in ICU, on life support, getting a lung transplant, and rehabbing at Zale Lipshy. I blogged about how excited we all were to see him at home…I’ve also blogged about the difficulty he is having with food (no added salt, no added sugar, etc). What I haven’t done is really “out” him about what a pain in the ass he has been about food, about his meds, his schedule, etc. Watch the video again, and now, imagine Mark Wahlberg (Randy) is throwing Velveeta Cheese into the trash can. That actually happened…in our kitchen, not the movie.
Now, let me say this: Randy had a VERY different experience from the rest of us. WE watched him for 12 days, unmoving, unconscious, on life support (ECMO and a ventilator). Ally and Wes were absolutely certain he would die and they would never see him again. I just kept hoping for lungs and making sure every member of the Transplant team knew he was a worthy candidate for lungs. For us, his homecoming is like Christmas! On the other end of the spectrum is Randy, who wakes up, cannot move, cannot speak, is tied down to the bed with tubes everywhere, and has had some pretty wild “dreams” or “near death experiences” or “hallucinations”, take your pick. I think we can all somewhat imagine the shock he would be in. Plus, Randy is just not a good patient, and he does not want to be told what to do, and no matter how many times he hears about the importance of food and nutrition and following the guidelines, he wants to eat what he wants to eat and drink what he wants to drink. As one of our “second sons” (Cooper) said after visiting him: “Randy is crazy…he is negotiating with everyone. Dr wants to give him this, well okay, but Randy wants something else first. Oh and the waitresses up there, I mean nurses…” (meaning of course, that Randy is treating the nurses like they are waitresses). “…the nurses say he is super nice, but I think nursing makes you super jaded so Randy’s dickishness seems a lot easier to them than it does to us”. Ha! Well said, Cooper. After what WE went through, we think he should be singing the Hallelujah Chorus just to be alive, but as I said, Randy’s perspective is somewhat different. And yet he knows how fortunate he is, and it tears him up to think about what we went through.
So, Wesley drove up from Austin last Wednesday because I could not physically handle Randy’s needs (his muscles after 3 months have atrophied and he cannot walk without a walker and often uses a wheelchair). I just want to say that my son has been a PRINCE this week. We have been a bit upset about Randy’s attitude toward his recovery, but when I took Randy to “clinic” on Monday we had a good discussion about how he has been acting, and how it has upset and angered and even hurt the kids and me, and he said, “you know, I think it is time to put on my big boy pants.”
Yes. It is time. (But, of course, we got into it this afternoon because he wanted a coke.) It will just take time, and he does get better every single day. He just needs to be happy and optimistic every day…it is easier than being pissed off and frustrated. At least I think it is, and I know it is easier on everyone around him when he is cheerful!
So. Week one down, and the start of week two begins! Bring it on.
im famous
of course you are, Coop.
As Randy would say, “FUUUUUUUCcCCcCCkKkkKKKKk!”
I think there is room for compromise!
Sure, Ran is a dick. Knowing that since 1970, (did you get that part?) Nineteen Hundred and Seventy…. Yes Coop I think you would have made a great Lyons Township High pal back in the day! Alas, knowing the “dickishness” factor for 43 years and still loving him knowing that all his old pals (dons) are dicks in one way or another ThAT in of itself is so freaking MINOR to the MIRACLE that has taken place! In my feeble mind, the Loaves and Fishes thing was easy compared to reconnecting 68000 capillaries and veins and arteries and shit that non-doctors cannot possibly comprehend! Even the Lazarus thing seems kinda David Copperfieldish in a side-by-side. We would all be having freakin nightmares that make the Exorcist feel like a Disney cartoon. So, give Dickishness a break! Now, in fairness, ( I did say compromise)….
Dear Dickishness Don, this part is for you-
I cannot ever comprehend what you have gone through. I cannot ( and neither can any single one of us who has not faced certain death) rationalize the emotions ….BUT ( and this is a bigger BUTT than freakin J-Lo and Oprah combined) you, sir, cannot possibly remember from your unconscious state, the agony Miss Tammy, Miss Ally and Master Wes went thru in the “unknown”! You hopefully felt in your subconscious the incredible and undeniable force of the love and the prayers and the lucky charms and the voodoo of the good witch of the north and whatever else people truly believed would twist the galaxy and the stars and their Gods to align the powers to bring you through!
So, my friend, give those 3 closest caregivers a fucking break and ….
1) take that shitty medicine -all 100 shitty pills without complaint
2) eat that diet which will keep you around (selfishly for me) even though it lacks salt and sugar and tequila and lime and rum and coke and BBQ sauce and mojo cheese sauce and jalapeño butter and chorizo and Arby’s Horsey sauce
3) push that freakin walker around tll you can throw that fucker in the dumpster!
4) say please and thank you to the baddest freaking Bloggingest babe we all have ever met from the minute you wake up to the minute you go to bed
5) tell those closest to you that you love them every chance you get
Love you all. M
Ah, darling Little Murph, you are always so colorful and funny. Yes, Coop would have been a good “Don”. You have been incredible through all of this….I absolutely adore you and your sweet wife. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
PS I will deliver your message to Little Donnie here.
Oh, and Murph? We love you and Nanc.