The Empty Nest has changed our lives. Randy’s double lung transplant has changed our lives. Our son married 3 weeks ago (it was a lovely wedding!) and our daughter is getting married October 3. I always imagined keeping this house, our home where both of my children grew up, and having our grandchildren to stay. Now I’m not feeling that desire.
Many friends have moved away, after children leave friends don’t have as much in common and drift apart. Our house isn’t filled with kids or teens, it is big and silent and needs upkeep and care that I have neither the interest or the ability to do. I don’t want to decorate, or redecorate, or get new furniture…I barely even cook a meal. The truth is, this lifestyle does not fit us anymore.
I have lovely ideas of selling everything and taking a trip around the world…but that is not really practical given Randy’s need to be within 2 hours of a major lung transplant center. Asia is out, Africa is out, and I’m not comfortable with him going to South America either. I believe we will head to Australia next year, the medical care there is quite good. Europe is always possible, and some Caribbean destinations are close enough. We have a second home in Cozumel, Mexico…but the medical care is substandard for any serious condition. When we go somewhere together I have to check and make sure medical flights are available. We are planning a trip to Cozumel in 5 weeks…it will be two years since Randy has been there. He has been cleared to dive, but the first sign of illness and he needs to be on a plane.
I have solo trips I am taking…a citizen science trip with Marine Megafauna Foundation‘s Ray of Hope in July, a dive trip to Socorro in November, and I will be with Ray of Hope next July in Indonesia, and with a turtle rescue in Cairns as well. My citizen science and challenging dive trips have to be taken now…how can I know how many years I have left to take these trips? You have to be able to handle the conditions, and who knows how long I will be able to? That’s not negativity, just fact. If there is anything I am certain of, it is that nothing is certain.
So…the thought process has begun, and I know I need to start going through the house, room by room, and getting rid of “stuff”. That is the first step. Many steps will follow, I am sure. Who knows what will happen, or where we might end up? We will just have to ride the waves that come.
Any journey begins with a thought…and that’s where you are. Will be following with interest.
Yes…it is the follow through that has much challenge to it, but then, all of life has its challenges.
So many hard decisions to make – but the beginning of a new adventure!
Yes, and I love adventure.
So many changes ahead of you – the next stage of the journey is just beginning! It’s good to recognize the limitations but also exciting to think about a new home or a holiday down here in Australia (our medical care is great!)
Leanne@crestingthehill recently posted…apparently I’ve joined a club!
Yes, I know Australia has great medical care and does transplants, so we are definitely planning to get there!
Here’s to new adventures!
Here’s to it!
Your upcoming trip sounds amazing, Tam. It’s funny how our desires change so drastically over time. This is definitely a period of transition for so many of us.
I love going on the science trips…I probably kid myself that I help, but it is my intention to help the animals.
My youngest is just starting hs this fall, yet I’m already asking these kinds of questions about our future as empty nesters. I hope that you find someplace that’s a good fit for you and that you can find travel accommodations / destinations that work for you. And thanks for sharing your joy about this year of weddings. Exhausting and exciting stuff.
Exciting and exhausting is a great way to describe it!
Congratulations on the marriage of your son and imminent wedding too. Although not quite there yet I appreciate thoroughly the desire to right size ones life, how great that you don’t feel conflicted over your next steps. Your description of all the considerations for your husbands travel are such a reminder to not take anything for granted and how right you are, no one knows how much time we have.
Elin Stebbins Waldal recently posted…A Memorial Day Love Story
Thank you. Yes, there is much to consider…I wouldn’t say I don’t feel conflicted, this house is very special to all of us, and I know there would be sorrow at letting it go. But I don’t feel equal to the task at the moment of taking care of it…
congrats on your son’s nuptials! My son is getting married in July so I know the excitement! I know whatever journeys are ahead, you will meet them with excitement and face all challenges both good and well, challenging.
Thanks Carolann, glad you have such faith in me!
Two family weddings this year -wow! Good luck with all of your decisions. I have been in decluttering mode, thanks to a great book I read. I mentioned it again today on my blog – you might find it helpful as you get rid of “stuff.” The author actually cautions against going “room-by-room” (as I used to do as well) – and so far her system has been amazing for me!
Not room by room, attic by attic? Hmmm.