LIFE Archives | TRAVELS WITH TAM

I am participating in Across Women’s Lives with SheKnows Media and PRI!

February 8, 2015 By Tam Warner 14 Comments

I am so excited I just have to share this with you! I’ve been invited to participate in a new media partnership between SheKnows Media (SheKnows recently purchased BlogHer) and PRI Across Women’s Lives! Word about the new initiative: “Across Women’s Lives seeks to change the conversation in news media, because women’s lives are newsworthy. It is an in-depth series by PRI that will reveal the strong connection between the empowerment of women and girls, and economic development and improved health around the world. PRI is combining deep-focus reporting on women throughout the world with unprecedented outreach so that these stories are heard and can make a difference. It’s funded in part by a grant from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.”

As some of you may, or may not, know, feminism is a philosophy I feel strongly about. I received a graduate degree in Sociology and my field of study was Gender. I taught Gender Issues at the University of Texas Dallas for many years. At times I have felt like I’ve been pounding my head on a brick wall, so I welcome the opportunity to join such a distinguished group of women, women bloggers, and writers. I have always strived to help make a difference in women’s lives, empowering them to travel, try new things, and get out of their comfort zones. Much of the Modern, Westernized World is far ahead of us in this respect, and many nations in other parts of the world are as well. Check out this list of current female leaders. As for percentages of congressional or legislative seats held by women in 2014? Check out this list:

Austria 33%

Australia 26%

Belgium 41%

Demark 39%

France 26%

Germany 37%

Iceland 40%

The Netherlands 39%

New Zealand 34%

Norway 40%

Spain 40%

Sweden 45%

Switzerland 31%

UK 23%

and the United States of America, the land of equality and the American dream? 18%.

Even Afghanistan has more women in congress at 28%!

The majority of the countries listed have paid parental leave, state or corporate paid daycare or allowance for it, generously paid vacation time, state paid single payer insurance for every citizen, paid disability, paid sick time…the benefits go on. Yes, they have a higher tax rate. I wonder if corporate America or the top 1% of Americans could afford to pay more taxes? Hmm. I bet they have a few extra dollars on hand. These nations have a much lower incarceration rate, higher student test scores, and much lower health care cost than the US. I could go on and on.

These are just statistical averages showing that the more women involved in making laws, the more benefits people have. Less war, too. These countries rarely go around attacking other nations. PRI headline: When a Country has Problems, Women are Often the Answer. http://www.pri.org/stories/2015-02-03/when-country-has-problems-women-are-often-answer

Women are underpaid and undervalued in most of the world. The only way toward change is to change our attitudes. I’m thrilled to be a part of the SheKnows and PRI Across Women’s Lives program to raise awareness about the lives of women, and to make it known that #womenslivesmatter.

Stay tuned for more about Women’s Lives. Yes, Women’s Lives Matter!

A Party Planner? Yes, Please!

February 3, 2015 By Tam Warner 23 Comments

Actually, she’s a wedding planner. She is planning my daughter’s wedding and I know it will be memorable in its elegance and panache. I like that word, panache. It has…panache. The wedding planner has panache, too. Check her out at Minted Artistry!

Soon, too soon, I am hosting an engagement party for the happy couple, and although I could do it myself (I’ve done several parties with minimal help), I have hired the planner to do the Engagement Party.

Confession is good for the soul, right? I am tired. Both of my adult children are getting married this year. We (which means me) am hosting large events for both occasions. My husband had a double lung transplant (yes, you read that correctly, what a saga) 18 months ago, and just spent two weeks in the hospital for a virus. I am administering IV medications to him at home while working very hard at promoting my blog, learning about social media, and taking webinars about sponsors and travel writing. (If you would like to hire me to review your hotel, your island, your vacation home, or your dive boat, I am at your command. Don’t worry about hubby, I’ll hire a nurse!). I still have two students to work with on college applications as I finish up consulting on college choices.

It is also time to consider downsizing. We have a very large home full of memories…but I am not sure it is right for us anymore. With my husband’s health and other issues it is becoming very difficult to keep up the house the way it should be. We need to paint; we need grass; and many of our doors have swollen and are not functioning very well. What do we do about that? If you have any suggestions on who to call, I’m all ears.

So, anyway, I hired a planner. This is me, taking care of me. With everything I am dealing with at the moment, I need all the help I can get. It is past time to put some effort into the care and maintenance of Tam. Cheers!

Transplant World’s Version of the Roller Coaster

February 1, 2015 By Tam Warner 4 Comments

Recap: Randy had a double lung transplant 17 months ago, and 3 weeks ago the doctors lowered his antiviral medication, Valcyte, because his kidneys weren’t “happy”. Randy’s donor had had a common virus known as CMV, but Randy had never had the virus and therefore had no antibodies to it. When they reduced the medication Randy became infected with the virus. Most of us have had it, and for kids and a healthy adult it is not a big deal. For immune suppressed patients, it can be fatal. Randy was running fever every morning and every evening for over 2 weeks. Then he was admitted to the hospital with a blood clot in his leg, and the CMV virus finally tested positive.

Randy came home last Monday, a week ago. I’ve had to learn some new skills…such as flushing his PIC lines, and giving him one of his antiviral drugs through the PIC, twice daily. The week went well for him, the Home Health nurse came twice to give him Cytogam, the big Antiviral med. Randy takes it over a 6-8 hour period, so the nurses were at the house all day. Both of the nurses were wonderful, and now Randy goes to once a week on the Cytogam. I’m still giving him the twice daily IV medicine.

A bit of excitement came our way on Saturday morning. Randy had just finished his med, and he said he felt “funny”. His heart was racing along at a pulse rate of 142, his blood pressure (which is usually very low) was high, and he had pressure in his chest. I was for calling an ambulance, but instead, we called the UT Southwestern Transplant Team. They, of course, said get to the ER. It was actually better than calling an ambulance…did you know that ambulances will take you to the nearest hospital only, not to the one where your doctors are. Thankfully we skipped a trip to Medical City and went straight to UT Southwestern Clements University Hospital.

As he got into bed in the ER (the rooms are huge, and very, very nice) his stats began to improve. His heart rate began to slowly inch down, and his blood pressure followed. They ran several tests which revealed no issues with his heart or lungs. To be on the safer side of things, the doctor wanted him to spend the night and receive two treatments of the IV medicine to be sure he had not had a reaction.

Off we went to the 10th floor (heart and lung) and he was put in the room next door to his old one. Most of the nurses on duty had treated him, so we had a greeting convention before he got to his room. Fortunately everything went fine, and he is back home, but oh, what a ride. You know the feeling in your tummy as the roller coaster heads down? The whoosh feeling? As I sat in the ER I had that feeling several times. Is he having a heart attack? The symptoms were there. What if the blood clot got into his heart or lung? I had to call my children and let them know what was happening, and I know how it upsets them. I would never keep them in the dark though, because when I was their age, my father was terminally ill with emphysema, and I wanted to have every scrap of information, good or bad. As my son, the Bear, says, knowing is always better.

The "whoosh" feeling — The “whoosh” feeling

Okay. Now it is time to get off this roller coaster! Time for Randy to continue to get better and get to a point where he doesn’t have to take any more IV meds. We are supposed to attend an event in Atlanta for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, then meet our family in South Carolina, but it all depends on his immune system, and if the doctor thinks it is okay. In Transplant World plans have to be flexible, because things can change quickly. We do have our two children getting married this year, and one is out of town, so we have to keep him well.

And so …. As the Transplant World Turns…recovery is on the schedule.

Transplant World: on the Mend

January 25, 2015 By Tam Warner 6 Comments

What a long, long week it has been. I am so tired I cannot keep my head up, but finally, Randy is on the mend. To recap, Randy had a double lung transplant 17 months ago, and 3 weeks ago the doctors lowered his antiviral medication, Valcyte, because his kidneys weren’t “happy”. Randy’s donor had had a common virus known as CMV, but Randy had never had the virus and therefore had no antibodies to it. When they reduced the medication Randy became infected with the virus. Most of us have had it, and for kids and a healthy adult it is not a big deal. For immune suppressed patients, it can be fatal. Randy was running fever every morning and every evening for over 2 weeks. Then he was admitted to the hospital with a blood clot in his leg, and the CMV virus finally tested positive. He had had virus swabs previously, but they were negative. The fevers increased, and the doctor was concerned that Randy was not responding to the antiviral they were using. A sample was sent to Mayo Clinic to check to see if Randy was resistant to the medication. Fortune was with us again, and he is not resistant to the medication, and his fever finally broke. He will be coming home this week hopefully, with a Pikk line and Home health nurses. Now that he has a blood clot, he also has to take special care because he is on blood thinners. All of this….because of a virus that most people have had, and never even known it. Obviously he will be quite vulnerable to infections for a while. He will have to build up his strength. But he is here, and on the mend. And I am so completely aware of how lucky we are. Since Randy first went into the hospital in August 2013, I have been a member of several online communities having to do with lung transplants and Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. A kinder, more supportive group of people would be hard to find. It is through these groups that I realize so fully how fortunate we are, how fortunate Randy is. Happy endings are few. The majority of people pass away before they get the transplant, or they pass eventually because they couldn’t get on the transplant list. Yes, I am fully aware of how lucky we are.

We have friends, Tom and Nancy, who chair a fundraising event for Cystic Fibrosis. Their entire committee emailed us their prayers and good wishes. Amazing. Facebook friends, from high school, past jobs, parents of former students, and former students, offer their support and love as well. Somehow…I believe the collective energies and prayers make a difference, in one way or another. I know they make me feel stronger…and better. We appreciate the support, so much. So, we may need to adjust our plans for the beginning of the year. Obviously, the trip to Cozumel didn’t end up the way we anticipated, and we have travel planned in March that may not come to fruition due to Randy’s suppressed immune system, but we have two young adult children getting married this year, and we need to do everything possible to get Randy strong, and keep him strong. Hopefully he will be home within the next few days, and we can begin the process of healing and strengthening. Thank you for your continued good wishes and support! Our family is so grateful.

Transplant Challenges

January 21, 2015 By Tam Warner 15 Comments

I never thought that Randy’s lung transplant would be easy, or that there wouldn’t be health issues afterward. One tries to stay prepared, but there really is not a way to do that. Randy and I were looking forward to a healthy, happy year, but as I have often said, the unexpected is the norm in Transplant World.

Walking into the new UT Southwestern Clement’s University Hospital I felt a sense of deja vu. It’s a new building…state of the art, beautiful, and contemporary compared to the old St. Paul’s building where Randy had his transplant, and where we spent so many days, weeks and months, but somehow it seems very familiar.

Randy has contracted a virus, known as CMV (Cetomegalovirus). It is not uncommon in solid organ transplant patients, and most take an antiviral medication to prevent CMV. Cytomegalovirus is related to the viruses that cause chickenpox, herpes simplex and mononucleosis. Once infected with CMV, the virus remains in the body, but it’s not always active. CMV may go through periods during which it lies dormant and then reactivates. If you’re healthy, it mainly stays dormant. Most adults have antibodies for CMV, up to 85% have had CMV as a kid. There is no worry of contracting the virus except through exposure to body fluids, not by casual contact.

Randy’s medication was reduced 3 weeks ago, and a week later he was experiencing fever and chills. If you follow this blog you know that after 4 or 5 days of this, Randy went to the clinic and had tests done. He showed no virus at that time, and his lungs were, and still are, clear. It was a week later that the doctors decided to put him in the hospital for more tests. They’ve checked him for everything, and so far, the only problem is CMV. But CMV can be a big problem.

He was started on a treatment the other night, and once again, last night. We have been told that it can take a few treatments before results begin to show, but after the first treatment, Randy’s viral count more than doubled. The doctor is “nervous”, and if she is nervous, I am very concerned. They have sent off a viral sample to Mayo in order to see if Randy is resistant to the medication. If he is, they will need to change treatment. The important thing is to get this virus under control so it doesn’t damage his organs. In the meantime, he continues to run fevers.

We will have the results of the test from Mayo tomorrow. Fingers crossed he is not resistant. In the meantime, it is best that no one but family visit him. His immune system is so cratered that he is extremely vulnerable right now.

For my part, I am going to have to take better care of myself. Stay hydrated, get exercise. I want to go to yoga…but I cannot go to a studio, who knows what bacterias I could pick up? I will need to stay away from public places and environments prone to bacteria of any kind. I need to eat healthy and not give in to the impulse to just grab whatever junk is available.

Tomorrow will find me with Randy at the hospital. I will keep the blog up to date. Prayers and positive energy are welcome!

A Hospital Bed in place of a trip to Cozumel

January 19, 2015 By Tam Warner 17 Comments

In Transplant World, one shouldn’t count one’s chickens. My post about Randy going to Cozumel for the first time since his lung transplant tempted Fate, and instead of swimming in warm waters, he is back at UT Southwestern.

Since the transplant he has had the odd fever here and there, but it always just lasted a day or less, and then went away. The week before our Cozumel trip Randy started running a fever every morning and every night, feeling fine in the middle of the day. We were in a quandry. We went to UT Southwestern and they ran tests, everything coming back A-OK, but the fever persisted. I went to Cozumel a day late with friends, and Randy had been put on antibiotics. We expected he would join us in a couple of days, but even with the medicine he kept feeling lousy. Finally, last Friday, Randy’s transplant team put him in the hospital to run tests. They found a blood clot in his leg….a large one.

The ripple of fear that went through me when I heard those words was ghastly. There have been several instances of blood clots in the people around me, and only one had a happy ending. I made arrangements to get home from Cozumel. I flew in on Sunday, with a cold. The doctors don’t want me near Randy, because they found something else to worry about.

We knew when Randy was transplanted that the donor lungs had a virus called CMV, a common virus that 85% of Americans have had. Randy had NOT had it. He was placed on an antiviral medication to insure that the virus would not spread to the rest of his body. About three weeks ago Randy’s kidney blood tests showed stress…the kidneys were not happy. All of these meds have to be filtered, or processed, through the liver and the kidneys. As a result, they drastically lowered his antiviral medicine, and his antibiotic. This sudden reduction in medicine let the CMV virus infect Randy.

So Randy is fighting off a virus, and while running fevers and feeling ill he developed a blood clot from inactivity. I cannot go and sit with him in his hospital room because I have a cold and congestion, and Randy is extremely vulnerable to any infection right now. We are both frustrated that we cannot be together, but at least I am close by, and we talk and text all the time. Today, we both need rest.

There are bound to be blips on the screen as his recovery continues…and I continue to be positive about his recovery. He will get through this, and then he will need to build up his strength. Another challenge he will get through.

Thank you for your prayers and positive energies.

LIFE

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