news junkies Archives | TRAVELS WITH TAM

The Roller Coaster of Transplants

July 11, 2015 By Tam Warner 23 Comments

The roller coaster never stops. Randy has been feeling quite well after a shaky start this year. In January he was hospitalized with the CMV virus, and in March with another virus. It has been a tough year for him as his father has been ill and in the hospital as well. Randy and his dad are very close, and it has been hard for both of them as they watch the other fall ill. They make the best of it, laughing about how they are the blind leading the blind, but underneath the joking there is concern and deep sadness for them both.

We flew to Cozumel on June 29th, and it has been a joy to watch Randy snorkeling, walking, and regaining strength after his long bout with a blood clot in his leg. The clot is gone, and Randy has been gaining in strength. Until yesterday. I went diving yesterday morning, and Randy sounded like he might be coming down with a cold or sinus. When I returned from the dive at 130p, I found Randy packed and ready to go. He had a fever, chills and was achy. I drove him to the airport immediately and put him on a plane to Dallas. The doctor wanted him to go straight to the ER at Clements UT Southwestern…and that is where he is now. Another virus, 5 days of breathing treatments, then home. I lost my iphone a week ago, and my internet is not working.

When we were desperately waiting for a lung transplant, all we could think about was getting those lungs. We didn’t think about the future because the present was as much as we could handle. The hope, of course, is that once the lungs are in and recovery has been achieved, life will go back to “normal”. In some respects it has…but for the most part, “normal” has changed. The challenge is Randy’s immune system, which is significantly lowered by the anti-rejection medications. He comes down with illnesses very easily. Everything one can see or touch is a potential source of illness. His new lungs haven’t had much difficulty at all, they have functioned beautifully.

So I am torn. Randy and I have discussed it many times. We agree that I should travel and do the things that we had planned to, and participate in the causes I am committed to. It sounds good, it is rational, an agreement reached by both parties. Randy will be well enough to do some traveling, and to come to Cozumel. But at the first signs of fever and illness, we have decisions to make. And though I know intellectually that it is right for me to take care of myself, to continue as best as I can doing those things we planned to do, there is a part of me that feels guilty. I feel responsible, and always have, for just about everything and everybody. And yes, I work at not feeling responsible. However, if I am honest with myself, and I am, I admit that I feel torn. I want to do what Randy and I have agreed to, which is to continue living my life. I spend probably 85% of my time with Randy, but it is a conflict knowing that he is in the hospital *and I know he will be fine* while I am in Cozumel diving, and heading on a Manta expedition in a week that I’ve had planned for months. And of course, if there is a hint of serious illness, I will fly home.

And so it goes, as the roller coaster takes a stomach dropping dip.

Amazing Women Wednesday: Hélène Tragos Stelian

June 23, 2015 By Tam Warner 14 Comments

Hélène Tragos Stelian is a multi-talented woman who puts family first while finding creative outlets for her own life. Her first creative project was a book, Getting Ready for Baby: The Practical Parent’s Organizer. As the mother of twins Hélène knew that planning to have a baby (or babies) was a tough job in itself, so she shared her organizing ability with other parents. Hélène recently updated her book, see above and below the post for links to purchase it! What a great gift for someone who is expecting!

Next Act for Women is Hélène’s blog about women of a “certain age”, meaning midlife, who find a new purpose or career. I love it! It encourages women who haven’t “found their thing” yet to take chances, to make changes in how they live their lives. Hélène points out in her blog, “Women of a “certain age” are often self-aware: emboldened by their strengths, accepting of their limitations, and ready to take a realistic approach in the pursuit of new personal goals. Their motivation may come from regrets about paths not taken, an itch to put their energy into more creative outlets, a wish to give back to their community in a more substantive way, or any myriad of reasons.” Her blogs about women moving forward and taking risks are engaging and compelling. She writes about women who have completely changed their lives, gone into a new field, or given themselves over to helping others. Here are a few of the blog links:

Becoming a Fashion Stylist at 45: Jennifer’s Story

Advocating for Therapeutic Drug Policies in Her 50s: Gretchen’s Story

Creating Healthy Workplace Cultures at 55: Jeanne’s Story

Let’s Hear From an Expert: Mary Beth Barrett-Newman of 2nd Career Consulting

I love these blogs/articles, after all, I am a woman of a “certain age” and I love to hear what other women of a certain age are up to. This may sound random, but have you ever seen “Something’s Gotta Give” with Diane Keaton and Frances McDormand? The film is about a man over 60 who dates much younger women, and a woman (Diane Keaton) who is over 50 and, as Frances McDormand’s character explains it:

“….there’s my gorgeous sister here. Look at her. She is so accomplished…..She’s over 50, divorced, and she sits in night after night after night because available guys her age want something-forgive me, they want somebody (much younger). The over-50 dating scene is geared towards men leaving older women out. And as a result, the women become more and more productive and therefore, more and more interesting. Which, in turn, makes them even less desirable because as we all know, men- especially older men- are threatened and afraid of productive, interesting women. It is just so clear! Single older women as a demographic are about as fucked a group as can ever exist.” Not being single, I cannot really comment on the dating scene, but here is what I do know, and what I love about Hélène’s Next Act for Women: being in midlife is incredible. It is liberating, actually freeing in many ways. I can look back to my twenties and thirties and realize that I am now wiser, more sure of myself, more comfortable, more intelligent, and more confident. Reading about other women who feel the same is refreshing as well as exciting.

Hélène is part Danish and Greek, and was raised in Paris until she was 13 years old. Traveling has been a top priority for her and her family, and they have been all over the globe. I would certainly say she has led a life full of adventure! For being an independent woman who has written and published a book (and is working on another), raised twins, enjoyed her family life, and has put the spotlight on midlife women at the very apex of their lives, I say you are amazing, Hélène! You are an amazing woman, and a fabulous role model. Keep Next Act for Women going strong, those of us in our “next act” love hearing about other women who are on the same stage.

Bhutan-Trek-DaddyDaughter-2012 — Trekking in Bhutan!

Gorilla-Tracking-Rwanda-2013 — Tracking gorillas in Rwanda 2013.

Istanbul-2013 — Istanbul (not Constantinople)…checking out other cultures.

Mudding-a-hut-Uganda-2013 — Helping to “mud a hut” in Rwanda.

Tanzania-2007 — Hélène’s family on safari in Tanzania, 2007.

Charleston and Racism

June 22, 2015 By Tam Warner 10 Comments

The shooting of 9 innocent people. Cynthia Hurd, 54; Susie Jackson, 87; Ethel Lance, 70; Rev. DePayne Middleton-Doctor, 49; Hon. Rev. Clementa Pinckney, 41; Tywanza Sanders, 26; Rev. Daniel Simmons Sr., 74; Rev. Sharonda Singleton, 45; Myra Thompson, 59. Stop for a moment and think of them, and of their families.

They are the victims of hate crime, of a terror attack. Killed in a church, by a racist, in a state where the Stars and Bars (Confederate Flag) flies at the capitol. The flag of the confederacy represents racism and treason. What the hell is it doing flying over the South Carolina capitol, one of the United States of America? Shouldn’t the American flag be flying instead? Do people not realize that by flying a confederate flag at the capitol, the state is condoning racism?

The shooter (who does not deserve to be named here) had the confederate flag, the Rhodesian flag, and the Apartheid South African flag. What do these flags have in common? They represent racism, oppression, hatred, and murder. Do you wonder why it is illegal to fly the Nazi flag in Germany, Hungary and France? It is also illegal to wear Nazi uniforms or to display Nazi symbols. Why? Because those symbols represent racism, oppression, hatred and murder.

I think Jon Stewart said it best, at least, I will let his words speak for me.

“I have nothing other than just sadness, once again, that we have to peer into the abyss of the depraved violence that we do to each other in the nexus of a just gaping racial wound that will not heal — yet we pretend doesn’t exist.”

“If this had been what we thought was Islamic terrorism…it’s ‘we’ve got to do whatever we can — we’ll torture people! — we’ve got to do whatever we can to keep Americans safe.’ Nine people shot in a church, what about that? ‘Hey, what are you gonna do, crazy is as crazy does.’ That’s the part that I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around.”

On saying this white shooter has “mental illness”: “You know it — you know — that it’s going to go down the same path. They’re already using the nuanced language of lack of effort for this. This is a terrorist attack. This is a violent attack on the Emmanuel Church in South Carolina which is a symbol for the black community.”

“I heard someone on the news say, well ‘tragedy has visited this church.’ This wasn’t a tornado. This was racist. This was a guy with a Rhodesia badge on his sweater.”

“In South Carolina, the roads that black people drive on are named for Confederate generals who fought to keep black people from being able to drive freely on that road. That’s insanity. That’s racial wallpaper. That’s — you can’t allow that.”

“The Confederate flag flies over South Carolina. And the roads are named for Confederate generals, and the white guy is the one who feels like his country is being taken away from him.” Many white people believe that this country belongs to them. It’s sickening. I watched Ann Coulter on Bill Maher last night talking about immigrant trash, Mexican rapists and criminals, etc. Whatever happened to “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” Conservative Ann Coulter only wants the creme de la creme coming into America. When asked by Bill Maher if Jesus would approve of her rants, she said, ““Yes, of course. You don’t need to take homeless people to bed to prove you’re a Christian. This is our home.” Oh boy. She needs to go read the New Testament again.

Maybe people will finally realize what has been the truth since the first African slave stepped onto the continent of North America: this is a racist country, with racist institutions and symbols, and as the news has finally demonstrated, it has been open season on black males for hundreds of years. It is time to rid ourselves of the trappings of our racist past.

For now, remember Cynthia Hurd, 54; Susie Jackson, 87; Ethel Lance, 70; Rev. DePayne Middleton-Doctor, 49; Hon. Rev. Clementa Pinckney, 41; Tywanza Sanders, 26; Rev. Daniel Simmons Sr., 74; Rev. Sharonda Singleton, 45; Myra Thompson, 59. Remember their families, and their communities. The pain and suffering is unimaginable.

I love the city of Charleston, and South Carolina. Let us hope they will do the right thing.

Push Me Pull You

June 8, 2015 By Tam Warner 7 Comments

Do you remember the Push Me Pull You two headed llama from Dr. Doolittle? If you do, you must be close to my age! I don’t think the Eddie Murphy Doolittle had the llama. Anyway, that llama is a good image for how I feel much of the time.

Learning to be flexible in this crazy world is a must, but I have to confess, it can be tougher than I thought. I would never have anticipated that my husband, who has always been perfectly healthy, would have faced death 18 months ago, or that our lives could have changed to such an extent. (Randy suffered a sudden respiratory failure and ended up with a double lung transplant from a disease called Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. I blogged about there experience under Our Transplant Journey. Go to the very last page for the beginning of our very unexpected journey).

Randy and I on a special night. — Randy and I … we are so fortunate that he is alive and with us. A true miracle. 2015

Randy and I had planned an empty nest life of travel, much of it adventure travel and diving. We also wanted to spend time on a lake here and there, or a river, kayaking or rafting or paddle boarding. A lung transplant brought complications to our plans. Lakes and rivers are no longer allowed…you can imagine the bacteria, right? Last summer we went to Lake Tahoe and rafted in the Truckee and boated in Lake Tahoe because these are alpine lakes and rivers, crystal clear and cold, without the risk inherent in the rivers and lakes of Texas. I wanted to go to a friend’s lakehouse this weekend, but Randy was uncertain…I understand it, he cannot go in the lake. I could paddle or kayak or swim, but Randy couldn’t do any of that. We ended up not going. It’s okay, like I said, I understand it would not be much fun for him.

While he has been cleared to dive in easy environments, like most Cozumel dives, he cannot do any type of “challenge” diving. Truthfully, he won’t be able to do some of the Cozumel dives, and I worry about it…what if he gets stung by a jelly, or scrapes against coral? He hates to wear wetsuits, but he is going to have to, just for protection, even when snorkeling. Randy has always been a sun worshipper, staying dark and laying in the sun for hours. He is no longer allowed in the sun without hats and sunscreen…he is 50 times more likely to get melanoma than the average person because of the anti rejection drugs he is on. Yes, life is different, and there is a lot to consider when making any kind of plans.

We are planning to go to Cozumel, where we have a second home, in 3 weeks. They do have medical flights, and Houston is only an hour or so away, but the medical care on the island is bare basics. Yes, that worries me. A trip to Vienna, Prague and Budapest has been planned for December so we can see the Christmas markets and displays. Again, one has to plan: The Department of Thoracic Surgery at the Medical University of Vienna runs a high volume lung transplant program with more than 100 transplantations per year. So, Randy will never be more than an hour’s flight from Vienna while we are traveling. It is doubtful we will ever travel to Africa (except perhaps South Africa) or Asia again, or remote locations like Antarctica. He has to be within a reasonable distance of a transplant hospital.

I am a passionate scuba diver, and I want to volunteer for scientific trips and go on trips to review dive services all over the world. I don’t feel too guilty about the science trips as Randy wouldn’t want to do volunteer diving anyway, but I am torn on other travels. However, I have made the decision to go on these trips, and to fulfill my aspiration to make a difference in ocean conservation. Randy supports that decision, he does not want me to give up the trips I have wanted to go on since our kids flew the nest. I appreciate that support, because I feel compelled to do as much as I can, as long as I can. I have a two week trip the end of July with the Marine Megafauna Foundations’s Ray of Hope to help with ID of mantas and whale sharks. These trips mean so much to me.

Many of the activities Randy loves will have to be curtailed, or stopped completely. I encourage him to find other things to try…there are many things he can still do. He has had two serious illnesses this year, for both he spent weeks in the hospital. Randy is doing great right now. I am so looking forward to his first trip to Cozumel in 2 years, but I will take him to get a wetsuit. Safety first.

Amazing Women Wednesday: Update on Cathy Chester!

June 3, 2015 By Tam Warner 11 Comments

Cathy Chester, author of An Empowered Spirit

Cathy Chester is indeed a powerhouse. She is an advocate for wellness, for research into Multiple Sclerosis (she was diagnosed at 29), and she is an award winning blogger at An Empowered Spirit. Next Act for Women, a blog about midlife women and reinvention, has just published an awesome feature on Cathy. I highly recommend that you learn even more about this truly Amazing Woman! Here is the link to the BLOGPOST on Cathy Chester!