Midlife Christmas Conundrum

I love the holidays! Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, you name it, I love it. Following in the family tradition of Big Christmas, I have created a “Holiday Home”. I don’t put up a tree and a few decorations, I practically redecorate my house for the holidays, and we all enjoy it, especially me!  Nothing makes me happier than friends and family telling me how beautiful and homey our house is, how comfortable and at home they feel when they walk in. I’ve often been told that I have “the Christmas House”. But I have a confession to make….I don’t know how much longer I can do this on my own, even with a little help from family (they bring down boxes and set up trees for me to decorate), but the majority of the “Christmas decoration” work is mine.

As I have said, I love doing it, and I have always enjoyed decorating for the holidays, ever since I was a kid, however, every year it gets harder and harder to do.  It takes more and more time to do it. Pretty soon I’ll start decorating October 1st! And…then there is the shopping. I start early on it, and I’m usually finished weeks before Christmas, but then….wrapping. Wrapping is work. This year, I am having a hard time even getting started on it. Confession: I’m tired, and I hate to admit it.

Every year I say I am going to cut back, not do as much, not buy as much….but of course I cannot seem to put that into action. Every year we have a Christmas Eve get together, also work, but I do have help for that evening, so that helps.  Preparing for it, though, is time consuming.

I’m in midlife, but I am still young….at least, young enough. The issues mainly surround the fact that I have chronic pain. I don’t write about it much, or talk about it much, but I was born with a spinal deformity, and I have never lived a day without pain. I’ve had surgeries to fix it, the last one was 14 years ago, and things have been much better since then. As anyone who suffers from chronic pain can tell you, though, it wears on you. I have a couple of other chronic conditions, as well, and so physically laboring is tough on my body. I need to do some problem solving on how to get my future Christmases done the way I want, without hurting myself to do it.

I won’t give it up!  I love every ornament, decoration, gift and bow that I have or that I buy. There is nothing like watching someone open a gift you have given them! It brings me absolute joy. The finished product is so peaceful….a decorated house, softly glowing trees and candles, a fire in the fireplace, wrapped packages under the tree….the winter holidays are truly the most wonderful time of the year.  I have to admit, though, as it takes me longer and longer to do it, I am able to enjoy it less, so I am going to have to find a solution. I don’t have grandchildren yet, and I want them to come to grandma and grandpa’s house with anticipation. The memories I have of my grandparent’s home when I was a child are priceless and precious to me.

So, this blog doesn’t really have a point.  It’s just me, venting a little, and while writing, thinking of different solutions.  My children are now busy young adults and do not have the time to help as much as they did when they were living at home. My husband helped this year, but he is 14 months post double lung transplant, so he too, wears out sooner than he did in the past.

Ah, it’s just change, right? Midlife has been full of surprises, so far, and sometimes the surprises are hard to keep up with, or to fully embrace. Some of the surprises have been tragic. The Empty Nest is a new time of life….and the changes come so rapidly, often too rapidly for one to deal with it all effectively. Well, I know what I need to do right now.  I need to wrap gifts. Oy, what joy!

Tell me, is it getting tougher on all of us? Or just me? How do you get everything done you want to? Or do you?